Responses to the nasty little comments someone always makes at extended family Christmases:

1. Still single are you?
"Yes. How's your family by the way? Your eldest still in prison for dealing is he?"

2. Don't worry, you'll find someone soon
"Thanks. I was just saying the same to your husband actually"

@pifflevalve you are missing out on the "oh, aren't you married yet" (condescending tone), and now the "oh, aren't you adopting... why not?" and variants...