Scott BaroloNov 21, 2022

Re-posting this 🐤 thread from 2018 which, sadly, is still relevant:

#WomenInSTEM who talk about #harassment and sexual misconduct get a lot of antagonistic & unhelpful replies.
@shrewshrew and I (a woman & a man in science) tried to categorize them. #9ReplyGuys

THE NINE TYPES OF REPLY GUYS 🧵

#1: THE LIFE COACH

Show threadScott BaroloNov 21, 2022

#9ReplyGuys: a 2018 twitter thread by me and @shrewshrew

Reply Guy #2: THE TONE POLICE

Show threadScott BaroloNov 21, 2022

#9ReplyGuys: a 2018 twitter thread by me and @shrewshrew

Reply Guy #3: THE GASLIGHTER

Show threadScott BaroloNov 22, 2022

#9ReplyGuys: a 2018 🐤 thread by @shrewshrew and me

Reply Guy #4: THE COOKIE MANSTER

Show threadScott BaroloNov 22, 2022
If you mention #9ReplyGuys elsewhere please cite @shrewshrew, my 50/50 writing partner on this project (which probably means she did way more than half and I didn’t notice)
Show threadScott BaroloNov 22, 2022

#9ReplyGuys: a 2018 🐤 thread by @shrewshrew and me

Reply Guy #5: HIMPATHY
(term coined by Kate Manne)

Show threadScott BaroloNov 22, 2022

#9ReplyGuys: a 2018 🐤 thread by @shrewshrew and me

Reply Guy #6: THE SEA LION 🦭
aka Just Asking Questions (JAQass)

The term #sealioning was inspired by a 2014 Wondermark comic: wondermark.com/1k62/

Show threadScott BaroloNov 22, 2022
More about #sealioning: here’s that Wondermark comic by David Malki
wondermark.com/1k62/
Show threadScott BaroloNov 23, 2022

#9ReplyGuys: a 2018 🐤 thread by @shrewshrew and me

Reply Guy #7: THE MANSPLAINER
(no shortage of these on Mastodon)

Show threadScott BaroloNov 23, 2022
I will post #9ReplyGuys #8 and #9 soon!
In the meantime here’s one of the great moments in the history of #mansplaining: a man mansplains mansplaining on Twitter.
(The original flowchart he’s trying to refute is by Kim Gordon.)
Show threadScott BaroloNov 23, 2022

#9ReplyGuys: a 2018 🐤 thread by @shrewshrew and me

Reply Guy #8: THE PRESTIGE

Show threadScott BaroloNov 24, 2022

#9ReplyGuys: a 2018 🐤 thread by @shrewshrew and me

Reply Guy #9: TROLLS, CREEPS and FOOLS

Show threadScott BaroloNov 24, 2022
The idea behind #9ReplyGuys is that, if you wish, you can use the 9 images in the thread above to quickly categorize & dismiss sexist replies. Misogynists *hate* being called unoriginal.
Thanks from me and @shrewshrew for your support, suggestions, boosts and encouragement 💕
Show threadScott BaroloNov 24, 2022
[note: if you want to see more details about each of these guys, with a graphic showing examples of each type of response, scroll up in the thread! 👆]
Show threadScott BaroloDec 13, 2022

Honestly a lot of the people on here need to learn basic reply etiquette. Mastodon is becoming known as the home of the smug mansplaining tone-policing reply.

A lot of white people feel way too comfortable here and post our unexamined unfiltered reactions without considering how annoying and exclusionary we’re being.

If you’re typing something “helpful” and the person you’re replying to didn’t ask for help or doesn’t follow you, the most helpful thing you can do is hit Cancel and move on.

Show threadꙮ ⚗️ pnathan ⚗️ ꙮDec 14, 2022
@sbarolo honestly the idea that we shouldn't interact with non followers is one of the most toxic and horrible part of Twitter culture.
Show threadScott BaroloDec 14, 2022
@pnathan I would say unsolicited advice is worse, but opinions differ
Show threadScott Barolo
@pnathan and I’m not saying don’t interact with people who don’t follow you. I’m saying it’s rude to give unsolicited advice to strangers. If you’re mutuals with someone, you might take more liberties, since you have both expressed an interest in each other’s opinions. I can’t believe this needs to be explained
Dec 14, 2022 at 4:46pmWeb
Show threadꙮ ⚗️ pnathan ⚗️ ꙮDec 14, 2022

@sbarolo that's absolutely a difference in life because unsolicited discussions and butting in has been the spontaneous magic of the internet, and twitter culture murdered it with attention to mutuals.

this was hashed out extensively with pre-Twitter boards; twitter is the aberrasion.

Show threadRobin ShiptonDec 14, 2022

@pnathan @sbarolo The phrase was unsolicited *advice*, not unsolicited discussion.

Saying to avoid being Unsolicited Advice Man in no way threatens the value you place on spontaneous discussions between strangers.

Don’t be the guy who reads “don’t feed the animals” on a hiking trail sign and then gets mad thinking that he’s being told to starve his pets.

Show threadScott BaroloDec 15, 2022
@pnathan @robinshipton ^^^ +1
Show threadRick BelangerAug 25, 2023
@robinshipton @pnathan @sbarolo Robin - your final sentence here made my head explode (in a good way). What a great way to describe this. I’m happily reading and soaking in the contents of this thread (among many). I’m old, white, male, and gay. I’m learning more and more about my privilege every day. I gave unsolicited advice once, and was told to sit back, to listen, and to believe when people (POC in particular) share their lived experience. Thanks!
Show threadRobin ShiptonAug 25, 2023
@rickbelanger @pnathan @sbarolo I’ve read so many others’ posts here and previously on Xitter in my own ongoing process of growing and learning. I’m so glad that something I wrote can be that kind of food for thought for someone else! ❤️