Mastodawn

Like many autistics, I occasionally go nonverbal. This may be because I have too many thoughts in my head and they get jammed on their way to my mouth. Sometimes it's because talking seems exhausting, or because it takes me long enough to sort my responses that my answers seem "too late."

The odd thing is, I can communicate by text just fine in those times. There's a connection between my brain and my hands that skips all that.

I want to learn sign language.

#ActuallyAutistic #Autism

Liva_Battleangel Nov 27, 2022

@thekimmy Thank you for sharing! I'm still unsure if I'm actually autistic, but I have 100% experienced this, and it's nice to not feel so alone in that.
For me it's a reaction to external pressure. And it usually makes the situation worse, as other people usually react to that by adding even more pressure...

@LivaBattleangel
One thing I'm discovering is that there's literally nothing that happens with me that doesn't happen with a bunch of other people. You just kind of have to figure out which tribe you're in. Best part is there's no limit. Join as many as fit you! 😀

Liva_Battleangel Nov 27, 2022

@thekimmy The thing is, I tried to get clinically diagnosed (which turned out to be basically just filling out a big bunch of questionnaires), and the results were that I don't really reach any of the thresholds on any of the categories for a diagnosis. And I know that I shouldn't put this much stock on that, but I find it weirdly hard to dislodge myself from the idea that I need some sort of "official membership card", you know?

@LivaBattleangel
Would it make you feel better to know that I don't have an official diagnosis either? Lots of women don't. They're still learning how to identify us. If you know who you are, don't let the man keep you down.

Liva_Battleangel Nov 27, 2022

@thekimmy It really does! Can I ask what made you realize you were autistic?

@LivaBattleangel
I saw some memes and posts from autistic friends. Let that stew for a while. Read some articles. Let that stew. Then dove head first into research. Read books and websites. Went over every checklist, ever online test (the real ones), and every evaluation I could do on my own. Everything matched. It made sense of things that made no sense otherwise. Eventually, it became clear that I absolutely was autistic. To my mind, it isn't even a question.

Liva_Battleangel Dec 8, 2022

@thekimmy Hey, i hope I'm not bothering you, but are there some books you would recommend, specifically for self-diagnosing purposes?

@LivaBattleangel
Off to bed, but I will do my damndest to remember to put some up tomorrow. If I don't have it done by tomorrow night, nudge me. My brain is fried this week.

Liva_Battleangel Dec 9, 2022

@thekimmy nudge nudge? 🙂

@LivaBattleangel
Darn it! I knew I'd forget. I'll do it right after work. I'd say promise, but instead I'll say, "I will give it my very, very best shot!"

Liva_Battleangel

@thekimmy No worries, I totally get it! My brain is also frequently very fried 🫠

@LivaBattleangel

Okay, so, I'm no expert. But I got some good use out of:

Autism in Heels, Jennifer O'Toole
Camouflage, Sarah Bargiela
I Think I Might Be Autistic, Cynthia Kim
Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Sarah Hendrickx
Life on the Autism Spectrum, Karen McKibbon

I have others I haven't read yet because my glasses are stupidly out of date, but these were a good start for me. Hope this helps!

Autistic Book Club Dec 10, 2022

@thekimmy @LivaBattleangel
If I may suggest a couple more?
‘But You Don’t Look Autistic At All’ by Bianca Toeps goes through the DSM criteria for Autism from an #Autistic POV plus lots of relatable stories as well.
Also, ‘Ten Steps to Nanette’ by Hannah Gadsby & ‘A Kind Of Spark’ by Elle McNicoll
#AmIAutistic #ActuallyAutistic

@autisticbookclub

Thanks! I've seen that first one when shopping, and your recommendation is helpful!

Liva_Battleangel Dec 10, 2022

@thekimmy Thank You!