I have written some what at length about why "build your own instance" is not an ideal solution for many communities; however, I would like to put all of that aside to make clear a point I thought was too simple to be mentioned.

The entire point of the critique is because we wish to exist in the same space as others as our full selves, and not some sanitized version limited by norms of conduct.

To be clear, whether mastodonians intend to reinforce this perspective is immaterial: the suggestion has the practical and affective force of telling those of us who level critiques that the fediverse will not shift its norms to enable a plurality of ways of being.

As a result, we might as well pack it in because our full selves are not welcome in community with others.

Now, I know that many folks On Here will ask for a solution to this issue and I actually have one. Like many solutions in my area of expertise, it is not a technical solution but it may be just as hard.

Ask yourself why "build your own instance" is your first response to someone who points out that they find it to be their full selves in a given space. Ask yourself why your suggestion is for them to leave? As yourself what that accomplishes.

Then get back to me.

@shengokai
From the perspective of a Vietnamese American, born in the US... "Build your own instance" sounds a lot like "Go back to where you came from!" This thinking isn't just confined to virtual spaces like the Fediverse, but is pervasive throughout our society. What we need to fix our way of thinking. That isn't easy, but is worth doing anyway.

Thank you for your insight.