Dr. Johnathan FlowersNov 23, 2022

If I had maybe five dollars every time someone suggested "build your own instance" as a solution to any problem encountered on the fediverse, I might not need student loan forgiveness.

That aside, before you're tempted to respond to a critique of the fediverse with "build your own instance," consider that the suggestion is a polite way of saying "go the fuck away?"

Show threadDr. Johnathan FlowersNov 23, 2022

I have written some what at length about why "build your own instance" is not an ideal solution for many communities; however, I would like to put all of that aside to make clear a point I thought was too simple to be mentioned.

The entire point of the critique is because we wish to exist in the same space as others as our full selves, and not some sanitized version limited by norms of conduct.

Show threadDr. Johnathan FlowersNov 23, 2022
"Build your own instance," in essence, is a refusal to consider the possibility that we'd like to be our whole selves in community with others, rather than having to build our own walled gardens. On this view, it becomes a doubling down on the unacceptability for certain people to be authentically themselves within a digital social space.
Show threadDr. Johnathan FlowersNov 23, 2022

To be clear, whether mastodonians intend to reinforce this perspective is immaterial: the suggestion has the practical and affective force of telling those of us who level critiques that the fediverse will not shift its norms to enable a plurality of ways of being.

As a result, we might as well pack it in because our full selves are not welcome in community with others.

Show threadDr. Johnathan FlowersNov 23, 2022
I have resisted making plain this meaning because, to me, it seemed too harsh. I wanted to give mastodonians the benefit of the doubt. However, as a great thinker once said "when someone shows you who they are, believe them." And one of the things that "build your own instance" shows me is the degree to which mastodonians are willing to tolerate some people in their social spaces.
Show threadDr. Johnathan FlowersNov 23, 2022

Now, I know that many folks On Here will ask for a solution to this issue and I actually have one. Like many solutions in my area of expertise, it is not a technical solution but it may be just as hard.

Ask yourself why "build your own instance" is your first response to someone who points out that they find it to be their full selves in a given space. Ask yourself why your suggestion is for them to leave? As yourself what that accomplishes.

Then get back to me.

Show threadTakkyNov 23, 2022
@shengokai this is the first thing people don't really understand about Fediverse: the Fediverse is THE community (the social place) but an Instance is much more like an hotel. You can't blame a manager to kick you out of a 4* if you like loud music karaoke at 3AM. Maybe you could feel better in a Youth Hostel. And maybe I like 4* hotel because I'm not interested to be forced to interact with people who likes karaoke so often. This doesn't mean that I cannot be myself.
Show threadsneedy maccreedy
@shengokai @takkuz the problem with this analogy is that social media exists to facilitate social *interactions*. a hotel facilitates sleeping, which is about as far from interaction as it's possible to get without being dead.
Nov 23, 2022 at 9:22pmWeb
Show threadTakkyNov 23, 2022
@crumbleneedy @shengokai (not so but) fair point. If you prefer you can imagine an instance as a Conference Hall. If I'm there to politely talk about philosophy you cannot break in, jumping on the table, screaming like you're at a Rock concert without expecting to be moved away. Like I'm not expecting to have a passionate talk about D&D on the parterre during a Rock concert. This does not mean that you cannot be part of our conversation and that I cannot enjoy a great concert.