If I had maybe five dollars every time someone suggested "build your own instance" as a solution to any problem encountered on the fediverse, I might not need student loan forgiveness.
That aside, before you're tempted to respond to a critique of the fediverse with "build your own instance," consider that the suggestion is a polite way of saying "go the fuck away?"
I have written some what at length about why "build your own instance" is not an ideal solution for many communities; however, I would like to put all of that aside to make clear a point I thought was too simple to be mentioned.
The entire point of the critique is because we wish to exist in the same space as others as our full selves, and not some sanitized version limited by norms of conduct.
To be clear, whether mastodonians intend to reinforce this perspective is immaterial: the suggestion has the practical and affective force of telling those of us who level critiques that the fediverse will not shift its norms to enable a plurality of ways of being.
As a result, we might as well pack it in because our full selves are not welcome in community with others.
Now, I know that many folks On Here will ask for a solution to this issue and I actually have one. Like many solutions in my area of expertise, it is not a technical solution but it may be just as hard.
Ask yourself why "build your own instance" is your first response to someone who points out that they find it to be their full selves in a given space. Ask yourself why your suggestion is for them to leave? As yourself what that accomplishes.
Then get back to me.
@shengokai
In my experience, "build your own instance" never, ever means "go away". Muting, blocking, de-federation are "go away", they're about cutting people or instances out of the fediverse. Building an instance is not about removal, it's about building.
My thought around this is that the fediverse is a village, with my friends and neighbors in mine and neighboring homes. A new person comes to live in the village but is uncomfortable; they don't feel they can be themselves. What now?
@shengokai One option is to shrug and say "this is our village and we like it." The person can assimilate or leave.
One option is to say "your best self isn't what we want here; you're banned."
The third option is to say "you feel uncomfortable in the spaces we've made; so make a space that allows you to be your full self, here in our village."
Building an instance *feels like* a big deal, a huge barrier to entry. Like we're saying "look, just climb that 10M wall covered in slime to get in."
@shengokai And it could be easier! It should be easier. But even as it is, right now, it's not too difficult, and means your community of closest people get to decide how to run things in your own personal space, and how you'll interact with the rest of the village.
I want your voice here. I want your best self here, your true self. I don't want you to have to fit my space or change my space to fit you.
When I say "build your own instance", that's not "go away", I'm saying "claim your space."
@shengokai
I get that this isn't how we expect social media to work. But that's kind of the point of this place.
Big instances lose a lot of the potential of the fediverse, they're hard to manage, expensive to build and maintain, etc. But small instances avoid all of that, are more easily managed *as a community*, and can be set up in a matter of hours for someone with a little experience.
And if you don't have anyone in your community with that experience, we can help with that.
/end
@notafurry @shengokai Hesitant to join this convo as a tech bro but I think this is a big part of it.
"Build your own server" should be heard as "Take control of your own destiny". You're not excluded from anything by starting a server, you're not going anywhere, you're in the same conversation.
If your whole community doesn't like how other admins act, you need admin representation. The only way to get that is for someone to step up and start a server.
Dr. Johnathan Flowers
honk honk I'm a truck *brrrrr*
Paul Denya