USPS Tracking
1. We're not sure it exists.
2. It's arrived.

@kevinbruce then there’s

3. We silently attempted delivery during the 3 minutes you ran to the bathroom from the lookout you’ve been manning all day. You can pick your package up clear across town from 4 to 5 today.

@cabbey I saw a meme once that was looking for new employees that were expert “ding and dashers” when they were kids 😂