@ekp I just recently ended my twenty-plus year career in software development. I am trans, nonbinary (although I prefer the term "gender expansive" for reasons I'm happy to get into), autistic, invisibly disabled, Sapphic, and non-monogamous (another terminology rant I'd happily give).
My career included over a decade in leadership and management positions; at one point I was the head of engineering for a company with about 400 employees, directly overseeing a staff of about 30 programmers. I came out as trans just over 3 years ago.
I have spoken and written about why I left the tech sector openly, and would be glad to pass along those writings. There is much to explore in that story.
Lastly I'll echo the requests of others for a good way to get in touch outside the Fediverse; I know some people who may be very interested in talking to you as well.