The reason Mastodon names are like email addresses is because email addresses "won" over a lot of other options that I won't mention here because most people have never heard of them.

Why did email addresses win? Because they match how we think of community, at a deep cognitive and arguably biological level.

Need evidence? "Jesus of Nazareth" is basically an email address and, now, a Mastodon account name.

@blaine traveling churchy/merchant people had Dude von Placename type names; peasants were more like Dude the Miller or Dude the Jerk ๐Ÿ˜‚
@migurski ๐Ÿ˜‚ and somehow ... ๐Ÿ˜‚ this place is not different. ๐Ÿ˜‚
@blaine my Mastodon server marks me as Mike the Normie
@migurski @blaine sadkjksadjhkjsd
@darius @migurski you are way too famous on the internet, so I can't even find out what "Migurski" means in Polish. Clearly you need your own instance, so you can be "Mike, of Migurski fame"

@blaine @darius I think it means something like โ€œof the mountain?โ€ (Or hill)

tbh I havenโ€™t dug too far to learn more. My momโ€™s side is an ultra-common Polish last name.

@migurski @darius heh, my mom's side also means roughly "of the mountain" (and I'm not falling for your trickery here! You'll never access my United account!)
@blaine @migurski my name means "I am a patrilineal descendant of [maybe just followers of] the seventh Imam Musa ibn Ja'far al-Kazim"
@darius @migurski I sincerely hope that in 1125 years, there are people with the last name "Frencampi."
@blaine @darius โ€œElon von Birdsiteโ€ 
@migurski @blaine @darius once he's broke he'll be Elon the Birdfucker.
@migurski @darius @gnat @blaine but did he fuck the bird or did the bird fuck him?
@darius @gnat @migurski @blaine lol at the peacock watermark.
@marcprecipice @darius @migurski @blaine In honour of the change in leadership, perhaps the new Twitter logo bird should be a peacock?
@gnat @marcprecipice @darius @migurski I bet if we send this to the marketing department right now, they'll have it up by bedtime.