“Oh my god, Kesha! You smell so unique!”

@KatyPerry cheered as @Kesha came into the room. Kesha went in to hug the other two cast members, however both Katy and @MeganTheeStallion began to run away, clinging onto each other, claiming that Kesha needed to social distance from them for covid safety protocols.

Things settle down, and the door opens for a fourth time, and @HonestVocalCoach walks in through the doors.

The other three cast members stopped and stared as HVC is the first cast member on the show to not have been on Celebrity Big Brother.

“Let's be Honest...you didn't see this one coming!”

The doors open again and country superstar @KaceyMusgraves walks into the room, filled with country confidence.

“Howdy, cowboys! Fresh out of Texas, it’s me, Kacey Musgraves! I ain’t afraid easily, so let’s get this show rockin’, yee-haw!”

Soon after, the doors open a sixth time and @LanaDelRey struts into the room. She twirls her hair, a memorial card of @EdSheeran in hand.

“Um hello. [REDACTED]. So here I am.”

Both @KaceyMusgraves and @LanaDelRey roll their eyes at the sight of each other.

“Oh fuck off.” Lana says as she gets to the table.

“You know what-” Kacey started to stand up before @MeganTheeStallion held her back. Kacey managed to break free and punches Lana across the face with a space ball.

The doors open another time, and @AmeliaLily stumbles in, somehow sneaking onto the set through the cargo hold. Her main personality trait being that she is chewing pink bubblegum.

“I am here to show a party girl. Can be drunk and still figure out who murder is.”

None of the current crew acknowledges her presence, and @AmeliaLily moves herself over to the opposite side of the cafeteria where @Kesha is seated.

Kesha gets up to go pee in the corner.

The temperature in the room gets a little colder as the doors open again and @DemiLovato walks into the room before looking across the cafeteria.

“You girls must be the aliens.”

@KaceyMusgrave gets up and runs over to @DemiLovato and the two friends embrace each other.

“Oh my god, Kacey! I’m so glad you’re here!” Demi says in excitement.

Kacey responds with, “I’m so glad to be here! I can’t wait to see you win this too!”

The two then go back to the table.

The doors open once more and @HarryStyles walks into the room carrying an LGBTQ+ flag.

"Hi, I'm Harry Styles. I sing, I make music, and I act. I am very excited and nervous to be here (I hope I don't die). Good day, mates!"

@HarryStyles rushes over to help @Kesha, “Don’t worry darling.” He says to the half-coherent Kesha.

Kesha, inebriated, begins to piss on Harry. He tries to repel her by spitting on her.

The doors open another time, and another homosexual walks into the room.

@GrantGustin takes off his sunglasses and begins to undress before several members of the crew get up to stop him.

“The murders on this show are going to be vicious. Subscribe to my OnlyFans to find out more.”

"Not another fruit." @KatyPerry sighs at the sight of @GrantGustin

"Wait.. don't tell me troye is going in with him..." Katy turns to the camera, "Hello hbo max, i have to talk to you about your "family friendly" content."

And there is another fruit... as @TroyeSivan struts in right after his husband, seemingly unimpressed at being there.

“Slay… literally.”

The tension in the room immediately rises as @TroyeSivan and @KatyPerry exchange glances.

“Fruit”

“Hag”

Troye goes and sits down with his husband @GrantGustin while @KatyPerry can be heard making homophobic slurs from across the cafeteria.

Thinking the homophobic slurs were being hurled at him, @HarryStyles begins to sob. "Omg, what's happening?" He cries.

The door opens again and in walks @MeghanTrainor, she begins to go on a @LanaDelRey like tangent..

but for formality purposes we’ve condensed it to

“Munch-munch, crunch-crunch. Meghan is here to eat the lunch.”

Since the meeting is taking place in the cafeteria, @MeghanTrainor instantly goes over to raid the food pantry.

@LanaDelRey immediately goes over to prepare a speech about how that is unfair to the crew and particularly her.

However, Meghan finds a loose space ball and punts it across Lana's face.

@MeghanTrainor, thinking the spacebar was a cake decoration, begins to eat it.

She promptly starts to choke.

"Eat her up Meghan" @KaceyMusgraves cheers on as @MeganTheeStallion, a trained nurse, begins to do the Heimlich on her.

The door opens again and @ErikaDeCasier makes her grand entrance, a beautiful hymn playing from somewhere in the background.

“E for Everyone’s Favorite…Erika de Casier 😘”

“She so unique” @TroyeSivan murmurs as @ErikaDeCasier walks into the room. “She’s an alien superstar.”

"I'm one of one. I'm the only one." Erika says, being on a higher plane on existence than the rest of the cast. She goes over to an empty table and begins to meditate or do yoga or something.

The door opens a final time and @GwenStefani walks in.

“Hello it’s me, Gwen Stefani. I’m back, I’m blonde, I’m fruity, I’m unvaxxed, and I’m a little bit of a bitch. I am the proud winner of the first season of CBB. I’m going to win this show and afterwards you can catch me and the late Ed Sheeran perform our viral smash hit “Sunset Overdrive” in the new pokymon game ‘Scarlet Violence’. Christina Aguilera is a fat loser and I’m far more blonder than she will ever be! Make America Gwen Again!”

@Kesha pulls @KatyPerry aside and mentions that the two should form a #RHOPI alliance.

Katy reminds Kesha that she was never on the Real Housewives of Pop Industry.

@GwenStefani overhears this and tells Kesha that they should form a #RHOPI alliance.

Kesha says “No.”

Being the only males of the group, @HarryStyles, @GrantGustin, and @TroyeSivan form an alliance, they call themselves: “The LG3T”

Grant and Troye wait for the first moment that Harry becomes distracted to form their own alliance, we’ll call them: “From Top to Bottom”

At their own table, @DemiLovato, @KaceyMusgraves, @MeganTheeStallion, and @ErikaDeCasier form an alliance titled “Roc Girls Do It Better”.

Using her psychic telepathic ghostial mind powers, Demi forms another pact with Kacey and @EdSheeran called “#WECANDOITEVENBETTER”

@HonestVocalCoach pulls @ErikaDeCasier away from the Roc table and the two chat.

HVC, impressed with Erika's vocal range, forms an alliance with her called “Not Lambily”

Putting their differences aside due to their competitive natures taking over, @KatyPerry and @TroyeSivan form a pact while @LanaDelRey is unconscious in the vicinity.

They call their alliance: “Three Is Better Than Rih”

“Alright crew,” Doja says as she walks into the room. “Now that you’ve become acquainted with each other. It is time for roles to be assigned. Some are just titular, while others will have special perks. Let's get start-”

However, @GwenStefani, sneaking in a slice of red velvet cake from @MeghanTrainor, promptly takes a bit of it, gasp, wheezes out the words: "Blacks for Trump" and collapses onto the floor.

"It looks like we'll have to assign roles tomorrow, as the first murder has taken place." Doja says.

"Crew, you have 15 minutes to discuss amongst yourselves before you will all be called to vote. Best of luck."