Whether I like it or not, whether I'd normally do it or not, these aren't normal times and if I've got an audience, some of whom could be persuaded to get a vaccine, some of whom wouldn't get a vaccine otherwise, then I've got an obligation to make the best attempt I can.

Next consideration, how many minds am I likely to change... probably not that many, but if it's even potentially non-zero then I've kinda gotta make the effort.

I'll let y'all know if I get any blowback, but tbqh yeah there's gonna be blowback. Being an admin is kind of all about blowback.
Update: there was absolutely no blowback whatsoever and some people gave me money.

I wibbled around a lot, typed out some very long MotD's and deleted them, and ultimately went with something shorter:

"A rare serious update here, especially for those of us in the USA: the Delta variant of Covid-19 is here, and it's not fucking around.

"If you live in a country where vaccines are available, and you've been putting off getting one, I implore you to ask your doctor about it.

Plenty of folks figured they had a low risk of getting or spreading the disease and were putting off getting the vaccine so as to let the elderly and immunocompromised get first dibs.

"If this describes you, I applaud your patience, but those of us at most risk have all had the jab now and Delta is killing and hospitalizing people who previously didn't have as much to worry about.

Again, ask your doctor, they (usually) know what they're talking about - don't trust me, I'm just a stranger on the internet, and the internet is full of bullshit."

In my experience, people who are slowly realising they've made a horrible mistake are just as likely to buckle up and double down as they are to actually change their behaviour, unless handed an escape hatch. Hence giving the willfully unvaxxed an opportunity to go "Uh, yeah, just making sure everyone else who needed it more than me got it first!"

Adding onto the community moderation thread:

I just saw a guy in another thread do the whole Let The Lies Spread argument: instead of banning misinformation and propaganda from your site, allow it to stay up because your users will argue it and show it to be nonsense, and anyone watching will see it debunked and form a sensible conclusion.

If that's a thing you believe is true, still, in 2021, when people are eating sheep deworming paste, then you should NEVER run a social website.

If you let the sheep worm paste posts stay up and put the responsibility of debunking it onto your users, then random bystanders (who would have never thought of eating sheep worm paste) will see two people arguing about sheep worm paste.

They won't think LOOK AT THIS DINGDONG EATING SHEEP WORM PASTE, they will think THERE IS AN ARGUMENT ABOUT SHEEP WORM PASTE.

And they'll be right. Because you hosted that argument. You facilitated it. You paid for it to happen on your property.

Your regular users don't want to argue with weirdos about sheep worm paste, but they will, because they like your website and don't want it to become a rabbithole into the upside-down.

They'll resent you for putting this labour on them. Many will leave and the ratio of normal to sheepwormpastebrain will go in the wrong direction.

"The best solution to bad speech is more speech," bullshit. That's been tried by facebook and reddit and twitter for a decade and it's ruined whole countries.

(for context, the dingdong making this ridiculous and proven-dangerous argument was doing so in a thread about Lemmy, which is a federated program that mimics reddit, which apparently exists because reddit *hasn't* spent sixteen years proving its format to be garbage?)
(who looks at a hivemind-inducing, nuance-eliminating, meme-spreading outrage-encouraging hot-take-rewarding upvote/downvote Skinner box and thinks "Ah yes, the problem with this is that it's not FEDERATED")

Community moderation thread continued: I recently saw a messy moderation incident play out in a very public and very cursed way, and in trying to untangle the thread of bad decisions that got to this point, I figured I'd talk a bit about power, because it looks like this is where the whole mess started.

Much much earlier in the thread I said that some people will resent you or treat you differently for the "power" that they think you hold over them.

I know, "power" over what someone does on a website in some small portion of their free time doesn't feel like capital-P Power. Especially not here on the Fediverse, where you can just pop onto a different instance and carry right on. But many people don't see it that way - they see your deletion rights over their comments as real, serious, make-my-very-words-disappear POWER, to be feared.
(as an aside, in my experience this kind of thinking tracks with people's mental state; when folks are having a bad mental health day (or week, or month, or...) they're more likely to view you as POWER ADMIN. Some kinds of depression manifest as paranoia, and even being talked to by an admin can be terrifying!)

Now most people don't actually want power, and are (rightly) suspicious of those who do. You made a website to have a laugh with some mates, not to have power.

Well, I've got some bad news for ya, buddy.

Whether you personally think you have power or not is as irrelevant as the distinction between having power, and having a bunch of people THINK you have power.

So while you may think you're talking to someone under your power as a friend, to them it doesn't feel that way. To them it feels more like talking to a boss or a teacher or a doctor or a judge, someone with power over them.

It's very very easy to hurt people from this position.

(this is why I cringe reading guides on how to set up social networks for your real-life friends. This dynamic ends friendships.)

Take this "I have power" dynamic and put it anywhere you need to make a delicate decision. Even though you just run a website, people (especially those in a fragile mental state) think you have power over them, so you have power over them. Offhanded remarks will be taken deeply to heart. Casual banter is ill advised.

Once you're an admin, to some people you're no longer a person, you're a cop. No matter how you act, no matter who you are, Power = Cop to some people.

This is why it's often useful to have informal intermediaries and advocates between you and your users. Most people don't have this "Admin = Cop" mindset, and those who you're friendly with will often (without you needing to ask (you shouldn't ask)) smooth things over with people who might be afraid to bring things up with you. Cultivate these intermediaries by thanking them privately - don't put them on the spot or give them an expectation of future interventions, just say thanks.
(I'm not talking about mods here, just normal users who you're friendly with. I have several players who I often want to promote to mod status but keep being reminded that they're more accessible and helpful *without* the Official Mod Hat that can frighten some delicate users)

It's on my mind, both because of the Bad Decision Train I saw unfold on another instance and because of my own experiences lately - mental health and bans.

I recently had a chat with a player who asked me to erase all of their characters. They were having a very bad time mental-health-wise, the Island was making it worse, and they wanted their characters erased because they couldn't stop themselves from logging on.

(even if you design your site so that it's hard for people to use it to hurt others, people will find ways of using it to hurt themselves)

Anyway about a week later this player turns up again with a new account. At this point, with the conversation about how they hurt themselves with the site fresh in my mind, I issue a permanent ban - both because I don't want them to hurt themselves, and because I absolutely will not consent to them using *my* website to hurt themselves. I may not be able to stop them from hurting themselves elsewhere, but I don't consent to being made a part of that.

And this is one ban that I don't disclose.

The decision about whether, when and how to talk about bans really has to be taken on a case-by-case basis.

If a player is banned because they pose a risk to other players, then we tell EEEEVERYONE, because Discord is, regrettably, a thing.

If a player is banned for cheating or being a general dick, well, that's a maybe - I might mention it in chat but it doesn't warrant a Message Of The Day.

If a player is banned to protect themselves more than other players, then no, that's not a thing we'll talk about. Because of our position of power (whether it's real, imagined, or whether there's really any difference between the two) it would be at best inappropriate for us to do a public announcement about an issue that involves a user's mental health.

Sometimes this starts a rumour mill churning. Which sucks, but the churn's gonna churn. Refer to earlier "ban for lying about mods" bit.

Refer also to earlier "Be thick-skinned" and "People think you're a cop" bits.

Being an admin means that sometimes people will hate you and tell lies about you, and there's nothing you can do about it that won't make it worse.

There's a lot of good times involved in being an admin too, but you have to be prepared for being hated and lied about. This is important. If you honestly don't want that, if you think that would outweigh the good you're able to see and do, then this isn't a job for you.

More for the community moderation thread? Aye sure more for the community moderation thread.

Improbable Island made a grand last month. For a hobby that'd be AMAZING. For a full-time job, that sucks. Especially for a moderator, sysadmin, artist,
writer and developer all in one.

But this is the way it goes, running a website for money. Some months you're rich, some months you're poor.

Some folks don't do well with uncertainty but if you grew up scrabbling then you'll have an easier time!

One of the things that leads to this feast-or-famine kind of situation is the way people support websites.

The overwhelming majority of people will never give a website any money, no matter how politely the site may ask. A very small handful of people are very rich and will think of donating a grand the way you or I might stick 20p in the Barnardo's box. These people are called "Whales" and I've spent a decade trying to work around them, to limited success.

The thing about whales - quite aside from the dodgy ethics of having one or two people be basically financially responsible for the whole site - is that if you rely on whales, your income's gonna be incredibly inconsistent and you're gonna have a nightmare of a time trying to budget both your business and your life.

Improbable Island's donation setup tries hard to discourage whales and encourage instead small, manageable, regular donations from lots of people.

(there are a limited number of things you can buy, and once you've bought them all, there's no personal benefit to donating more. However, every time someone donates, everyone else gets tangible benefits.)
You'd think this would be an ideal setup for Patreon, but tbqh outside of the top handful of high rollers on that platform I've yet to see any benefit from it. I already took PayPal, and adding Patreon support just meant paying Patreon an additional cut (over and above the cut that PayPal already took!) for the dubious privilege of using their crappy API. The end result was that a handful of players switched to Patreon and now I get slightly less money from them.

No matter how hard you try to set things up so that each month is more or less the same money as last month, you're probably gonna be in Feast-Or-Famine mode. If you're used to self-employment then you're used to this, but it can still be scary, especially if you have a financial emergency like a suddenly-sick pet or car problems combined with a bad month. It can make you think "Aw man, am I ever gonna have a good month again?"

And yeah, you will, but in the moment it's hard to remember that.

Anyway, it's been a stinker of a month so far and I've got a cat whose kidneys are starting to pack in, so anyone who wants to boost https://www.improbableisland.com please do so. :)
Improbable Island

The weirdest old-school text adventure on the internet.

Another one for the community moderation thread: DEATH.

We just lost an Islander to COVID-19. I had to knock out an MotD in a hurry to get money and messages of condolence to his widow:
https://www.improbableisland.com/motd.php?id=509

It's very late and I'm getting up very early and I'm emotionally exhausted from writing this, so there'll be more on this subject tomorrow.

For now, think on it, because this will happen to you.

Improbable Island Message of the Day (MoTD)

Alright real quick thought on this because it just popped in there and grief does weird things to us:

Remember that bit towards the start of RoboCop where the chief comes in and takes the dude's name off the locker, says when the funeral is and donations to the family can be given to Cecil as usual? For a start, you're the chief, and you're Cecil too, so that's two jobs right out the damn gate

Alright, I'm awake, too damn early, and online death.

On any community website, people will die. When you, the admin, learn of one, it's because they were so heavily into the site that their spouse or whoever reached out to you or someone on the site to say hey this thing meant a lot to this person. That's vanishingly rare and for every one of those people there are scores who appear to just stop logging on, and are indistinguishable from people who just stop logging on but who are alive.

Just as we don't have the cultural DNA to be able to handle living on the internet, which is a huge part of our lives despite being brand heckin' new, we're even less prepared for people on the internet dying. The internet is so new, and death online so rarely noticed, that there's no real cultural consensus on how to process it. We have not yet developed rituals and stories and processes to help us cope with online death, so our range of reactions can be even more wildly varying.

Specific to our game, when a modulator died some years ago, we organized a walkabout through her places (player-created buildings) to find that she had left her character in a bed.

Seeing her name on a computer screen sent adrenaline down my spine and I legit felt like I'd seen a ghost. I reacted to seeing her name, in this context, the way I'd react to seeing a ghost, because although I knew her very well, I knew her *as a name.* I saw her *name* in exactly the context that I knew *her.*

We hear about moments like these, like an app posting on someone's behalf about some dumb game on Facebook or whatever, and although the following emotions can be anger or sadness or comfort or even becoming a part of a ritual of rememberance, the initial emotion in the moment tends to be shock. People literally say "I felt like I'd seen a ghost," because online we're halfway ghosts anyway.
So I remembered this last night, and I warned people that the player's character was still standing in their place. I didn't remove them, because some people would want me to and some would not want me to and the emotions are conflicting and wildly varying (because like I say no cultural consensus on how to handle death online and no stories to give is frameworks for how to grieve), but there's never anything wrong with warning folks so they can prepare.

Other things to keep in mind when dealing with the death of an online community member:

Yes, post a public message. You'll have complex admin-only feelings about the member that do not apply to the general userbase; keep those to yourself unless directed otherwise by the player's friends, because this isn't about you. Search "Comfort in, dump out" for info on that.

(our player's MotD, his friends told me, should be to GET PEOPLE THE HELL VACCINATED)

The family may ask you for kind words from the userbase, or set up a funeral fund.

The member's grieving family see your site as a source of happiness for the deceased member, and want to include it. The grieving family is not thinking, right now, of the nazi troll you banned last week.

The funeral home will set up a memorial page with all sorts of personal info. Don't link to it.

Tell your members to send kind words and money to *you,* and you'll pass them along.

DON'T DOXX THE WIDOW.

Everyone but the very young has known death. Traumatizing and awful as it can often be, it's a common experience for which we have a script to follow. *Online* death, or rather *noticed* online death, is much newer, people don't know how to cope, and there'll be kind of a mess. Be extra gentle with your users for the next little while.

Also be extra gentle with yourself, and try to resist the temptation to view the deceased as the most visible tip of an iceberg of unknown ghosts.

Online Community Moderation Thread Part NaN: backseat moderation

You've gotta have a thing in your CoC that prohibits talking on behalf of mods, IE people going around saying "Careful, the mods don't like that."

When people say that, they usually mean "I don't like it but I'm gonna shift the fallout of this social sanction away from Cool Free Speech Guy Who Doesn't Care here, and onto Evil Site Staff Who Are Literally Hitler."

Never let anyone speak for you or your mods.

Adding this on to the community moderation thread:

Someone at Stern Pinball got talked into making a pinball discussion platform to go with their new high-scores app. The forum isn't live yet but it's 100% going to be an absolute disaster and I Can Not Wait.

Pinball specifically suffers from several of the dynamics I've talked about in this thread, and having a manufacturer start their own forum about their own games is also a uniquely awful idea so get your drama-slurping straws ready

Pinball is a Rich White Old hobby. Ten years ago it was possible to buy pinball machines for fairly cheap, but now the used pinball machine market is full of predatory parasitic investors - that is, blokes with too much money who buy any machine under three grand sight unseen with no intention of playing it, just sticking it into storage and waiting for the price to go yet higher. Obviously there is Drama about this, and about how big the bubble can swell before it pops.

Pinball is currently going through a slow but steady revival, which means new people are coming into the hobby.

Some of them are young.

Some of them are *women* for god's sake.

I've even heard that one or two of them might be... "you know..."

So pinball has been undergoing the sort of drama that happens when a hobby has gone a long time without any new blood, and the old guard are stubborn - and even the ones who aren't resistant to change are slow to adapt.

The biggest pinball forum is Pinside, and it's a horrible, horrible place. It's less horrible than the newsgroup that came before it, but it's still horrible. There's also Tilt Forums, which can be horrible sometimes but for pinball it's comparatively unhorrible.

The pinball community has been so poorly served that they're primed to expect online pinball discussions *in general* to be some flavour of horrible. Standards and expectations are *very* low going in.

So pinball is a rich old white dude hobby struggling with gatekeeping and racism and sexism with no real way out of the cycle (save for "route your beaters," any pinball people reading this - not every game has to be restored to mint condition, put your sheds out at a quarter or 50c a play and let the working classes have a go for a change), and into this whole Situation comes Stern Pinball, the epitome of Rich Old White Dude companies.

Stern in particular is well-known for erasing threads on their Facebook page that veer into territory even slightly critical (such as asking for code updates to abandoned games). Combine this with the sense of entitlement you often see in rich people, and you've got a recipe for a 1:1 ratio of Pinball/First Amendment threads.

This forum will be a case study unto itself!

Earlier on I talked about how targeted advertising is a scam from flim-flam men, and your best bet was to go for completely untargeted and really wide-reach advertising to find the people who don't yet know (or act like) they want your thing.

This article says that companies who turned off targeted ads don't notice any difference, and nearly all of the people who were targeted would have bought the thing anyway:
https://sparktoro.com/blog/what-if-performance-advertising-is-just-an-analytics-scam/

What if Performance Advertising is Just an Analytics Scam? - SparkToro

“What the pandemic showed is we can take marketing down to zero and still have 95% of the same traffic as the year before. So we’re not going to forget

SparkToro

I saw someone had posted this link on Fedi earlier but I forget who it was. I remember coming across this site five years or so ago and absolutely inhaling it. In the time since I last had a look it's been updated:

http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/index.html

It's a study of forums for estranged parents - that is, forums full of people so horrible that their own kids disown them.

Down the Rabbit Hole: The world of estranged parents' forums | Issendai.com

The members of estranged parents' forums claim their children cut them off for no reason, but their own postings say otherwise.

I'm posting this to the community moderation thread because the behaviour patterns of these sorts of estranged parents mesh so perfectly with the sorts of abusive behaviours that you have to warn your community members about.

This series of articles is ostensibly about parental abuse, but much of the content applies equally well to most emotional abusers.

Particularly useful for online community modulation is this list of dysfunctional beliefs at http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/dysfunctional-beliefs.html - here's a sampling:

* If one understands something, then one agrees with it. If I don’t agree with something, then I don’t understand it. If you don’t agree with me, then you don’t understand me, and can’t claim that you understand me until you agree with me.

* Emotions cause actions. When I feel something, I can’t not act on it.

Dysfunctional Beliefs That Are Common in Estranged Parents' Forums | Issendai.com

Estranged parents' forums encourage a plethora of beliefs that guarantee parents will have difficult relationships with their children.

Heck I kinda wanna make a list of dysfunctional beliefs that people have about participating in online communities. :)

Dysfunctional ideas about interacting in online spaces, ban if you see evidence of folks thinking this way:

* This website won't survive if I leave it.

* This website's norms don't work for me, so I will try to change those norms rather than fitting in or going to a different website.

* If a website's rule is insufficiently specific, then the important thing is to break it, or nearly break it, so that the admin will make it more specific.

* This website owes me for the time I spend on it.

* Power corrupts, so the moderators of a hobby website should be treated with the same disdain or distrust one would treat a millionaire politician or CEO.

* Moderators only become moderators because they want power over others.

Oof, sad news about Something Awful founder Lowtax.

Something Awful has been going through a messy and painful transformation, a kind of reckoning with its past self, and at some point I was gonna do a case study for this thread.

I've only just heard about Lowtax's suicide so it's probably not a great time to start that analysis, but in the moment this feels like a cautionary tale about deleting your old stuff so you can change.

Community Moderation Thread continued, a case study:

@[email protected] shows us the eventual end state of the hobby degradation dynamic I talked about earlier in this thread.

https://social.bau-ha.us/@aurora/107434889581265192

This starts with admins allowing forums to shift away from normal, everyday conversation about a hobby, and towards threads where people post pictures of the thing they bought today. Further in Aurora's thread are some counterexamples of still-viable groups.

ava vs. the universe ✨ (@[email protected])

trying to sell my old hifi setup and realizing that the stuff i bought for 1-10€ a piece on ebay 15 years ago is now worth over 500€ :blobfoxeyes:

[email protected]

All hobby communities are vulnerable to consumerist takeover, and the effects can spill out into the real world as we've seen here, inflating prices and cutting off new members apart from the very rich, cementing a self-reinforcing mechanism.

There is no saving a hobby community that has entered this downward spiral. Once a hobby becomes involved with financial speculation, it's a rich-getting-richer wasteland until the bubble bursts, which can take years.

Stopping a hobby from becoming taken over by the empty content of the rich is easy, but requires vigilance and community buy-in.

Establish in your CoC that posts amounting to no more than "Look at this thing I bought today" are spam, and will be treated as such. Talk about the hobby degradation phenomenon in your CoC so that people understand why it's a necessary rule; your members will help with enforcement if they're familiar with the alternative.

@ifixcoinops
As a child who was forced to estrange a parent for the sake of her own sanity, this series of articles is a wild read. It’s a trove of how abusers think, & justify themselves, straight from the abusive horses’ mouths.
It has some of the answers I’ve wanted for years, about how could he have done/thought/said that.
CW that it’s no fun, of course- it’s a bit like diving headfirst into a scalding emotional sewer. But…
*\

@ifixcoinops
…that kind of sewer is where I grew up, & I get to leave a little of my burden of emotional waste products behind every time I do this kind of dive.

Emotional scathings aside, it’s a visually difficult read. Light blue text on pale gray is never a good contrast choice, & graying out inserted text blocks improves nothing.

Anyway, no fun at all; but definitely worthwhile & insightful.

@ifixcoinops showing me ads for the thing I recently bought does seem like a waste of money, come to think of it
@ifixcoinops I make a point of not buying anything I've seen advertised, and I can't be the only one.
@ifixcoinops CC: @ldubost neat data stuff. Nothing really that we didn't already know but cool nonetheless...
@ifixcoinops i work in advertising! id assume it depends on the uniqueness of thing your advertising. like... were 100% of the people who were going to see an arthouse film going to see it regardless of if they saw an ad? probably. but if you were advertising sunglasses then that 100% probably just means they were going to buy sunglasses but not necessarily *your* sunglasses. TLDR = airbnb holds a very unique space, they probably dont need advertising.