Lucian Loutranger
gardevoir, from the pokémon serieshttps://twitter.com/buttplugio/status/1314246707404652544 this is not a drill, but you’re gonna need one
someone actually did it. every cage on the internet is locked. eternal september, move over, it’s now eternal locktober
in retrospect, they really didn’t know their userbase
as someone in the overlap of “IoT hacking experience” and “chastity fetishist,” this is *exactly* the stuff of dreams, I have actually written longform threads about this, and it is absolutely not a surprise to me that after presenting literally the entire world a big shiny button labeled “permalock everyone,” it took only about 48 hours for at least one person to figure out how to slam the *shit* out of it
CHOKES ON MY DRINK
IS THAT WORDING A COINCIDENCE OR DID THE HACKERS JUST REFERENCE MY JOKE https://twitter.com/nhHo19841781/status/1314570363016077312
the evidence, for posterity:
that said while the chastity enthusiast and anticapitalist inside of me are both delighted, I can’t honestly condone what these people are doing. c’mon, people, get consent
Emil Socks@gardevoir I dunno, I think this whole thing hurts users more than it does the company
@socks yeah, that’s the real problem here
I’m all for embarrassing the company so they don’t release even worse shit but don’t demand $200 from random people
Perfect Butterfly Angel@gardevoir i can't stop giggling about this. i can't believe it happened. holy shit
vy-let@gardevoir BAAAAAAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA 😈 i’m deceased
@gardevoir nor, apparently, did they seem to know the difference between “security flaw present in app” and “security flaw present in public API,” 🤦🏻♀️×∞
@gardevoir bet all these people didn’t see it coming.
…bet they don’t see themselves cumming either
@gardevoir also fucking DESTROYED by the fact that this is apparently no big deal, because the device itself is built so poorly you can just pop open the board and hotwire it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@vy [lockpicking lawyer voice, echoing distantly] inexcusable design flaw
Embers 🎨🛡️🏳️🌈@gardevoir hacker: "hmmm, what should i do today. oh i know, lock everyone's dick"
@gardevoir HOLY SHIT SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID IT????
sneaky snep@gardevoir ngl this is kinda horrifying
@axakatl oh, it gets much worse
this is probably one of the better outcomes. they were about to release a shock collar
@gardevoir what the SHIT
@axakatl Capitalism: “It’s profitable and there isn’t a law against it yet, so why shouldn’t we?”
École des Bro-Arts@gardevoir <extremely heavy sigh> glad I told a certain boy to take his off on Tuesday.
gulfie 
@gardevoir "stand back, I'm about to pull the ultimate top power-move"
Z̈oé@gardevoir I'm pretty sure this is someone's kink