here's the fucking guide, cis people:

are you dating a someone? if yes > do you already know they're trans? if no, don't fucking worry, they'll tell you in their own time, and if yes, either way if you get to the point where fuck might happen > you say "how do you like to have sex?" and then you proceed to have a fucking conversation about what you want to do together

if they DONT or CANT answer that question and that's a dealbreaker for you? fine! that can be a dealbreaker for you! because that is a communication problem and communication problems are universal

that is a valid dealbreaker if you're trans and your partner is trans or you're trans and your partner is cis or what the fuck ever

but i really really really want to fucking stress this

you. ask the question. "how do you like to have sex?"

that is YOUR obligation, in fact. you as a cis person do not get to force blanket assumptions onto a trans partner about their experiences of pleasure

NOT "how do you have sex" = how is your body even capable of having sex?

"how do you like to have sex" = what feels good to you? What feels adventurous and wild or tender and intimate? what makes you feel excited and happy to be in bed with another human person?

contrary to what terrible reality tv dating shows have told you,

making fuck, is not a nike sneakers ad

you do not "just do it"