raccthis is my vent account now bc i know nobody that sees this could possibly care so let me say looking at the summary of my life it just feels in my bones like I'm close to death
i haven't seen a doctor in years and i chain smoke. i have had terrible adjusting to my new job and balancing the responsibilities there with my husband and through it all i mentally feel as if im dying. i could have late stage lung cancer and i wouldn't know or care because ive already been such a tremendous failure at everything what's dying young too?
ive disappointed so many people and squandered so many opportunities for a better life. i don't know who's a friend anymore. i don't feel that there's anybody i can talk to, for one reason or another