PocketsJul 10, 2019

A repeat of my crowd poll from last summer!

Do you view polyamory as your sexual (or romantic) orientation, as something you choose to practice, neither, or both?

I think I ask this question because it is something I'm constantly exploring for myself - what about this do I need vs. what about this do I like?

Bonus question (if you answered last summer or if you are like me and frequently try to take stock of where you are at) - how has your thinking about this evolved over time?

Show threadJulia LauritzSep 3, 2019
@poly_pockets
It's something I need now. I need unconstrained connection and social flexibility on my own terms. I think I'll always want the option. but maintaining multiple partnerships may become less important to me over time as I strengthen my social network. and I suspect the time maintaining a primary relationship would mean I don't have time for tertiaries. which is why I'm solo poly for now.
Bonus: still think it's an orientation - 1/2
Show threadJulia Lauritz
@poly_pockets just slightly more realistic about my free time and how I want to spend my thirties. - 2/2
Sep 3, 2019 at 9:10amWeb
Show threadPocketsSep 4, 2019
@julia Interesting, so you feel it's your sexual orientation but at the same time is likely to evolve and change over time? I typically think orientation as static, even if one's understanding of it might shift. I deeply respect your understanding of what you need now, especially as a woman seeking similar self-understanding as I approach mid-30s.
Show threadJulia LauritzSep 4, 2019
@poly_pockets
I like the freedom and flexibility, and the thoughtfulness about time and energy, but that won't always correspond to me dating more than one person (although I wouldn't date someone who required monogamy). Parallels with bisexuality? I'm oriented towards it being a possibility, but may not always be visibly polyamorous, depending on where the rest of my energy's going - career, kids, platonic connections etc.
Show threadPocketsSep 4, 2019
@julia Ah, that makes a clearer picture for me. I like the parallel with bisexuality in that the identity of polyamory doesn't always have to be visible.