So I was thinking about deleting this comment b/c a lot of folks don't like, but I decided against it because I think it will help folks learn.

I didn't realize that it was a trigger for a lot of folks, so that's on me. It was not my intent to contribute to or normalize a toxic culture.

Fortunately, I have am followed by some cool people who've taken the time to show me the error without being insufferable pricks about it. Thanks for that.

My bad, y'all. I meant no harm.

@ratbaby I haven't in either case, so I'm just not familiar with how bad it can be and is. For that reason, I have no issue with deferring to people who do have experience with it, as they know more about it than I do.

Ha, I think some people who don't like me on here for whatever reason used it as a proxy to express their dislike of me, so I'm always going to push back on that.

That said, that's a culture I definitely want no parts of, so I just thought I would make it clear.

@ratbaby Yeah, that's a pet peeve with me, especially considering with how many random white people come at me looking for a fight because they want to take offense to whatever I'm saying at the the moment.

But every once in awhile, someone does have a point, even if they are being a straight prick about it.

It's important to me to make sure folks know I recognize and hear them, even if some people want to be assholes about it.

@Are0h
Hello, I'm writing you again. If you want me to stop now or in general, please say so.

I would like to ask you if you think I was just looking for a fight?

Also, I'd like to better understand why you framed me as a "dickhead". I was neither trying to be extra rude nor to be nice. I was very direct with my issue.
Also, "I have no idea what your problem is with me"? That's just confusing.

I like to work on myself. I don't hold a grudge. I like to understand.

@Are0h
I made a comment around 2 weeks ago on a toot of yours:

https://mastodon.social/web/statuses/100158601921710424

@antifahnen Ah, yes. This one.

Well, I thought you were being an ass about it. I'm not above talking about it but I do not react well to people I don't know stomping into my timeline demanding this and telling stop what they interpret me doing.

That's a dickhead move in my book, because you don't need to be hostile or antagonistic.

I'm amenable to reason, not people being pricks because they're feeling self righteous.

@Are0h
Yes, I assumed quite a bit. I now think that was wrong of me. I'm sorry for that.

I think I reacted that way because _for me_ it was clear that using stalking in such a way is harmful.

I can't know how it's commonly used in your vocabulary and I shouldn't expect people to already be aware of everything I am aware of.

I tried to include reasoning (from my point of view). I'm happy you get the point from others.
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@antifahnen Well, yeah. I don't really respond well to people coming at me with so much aggression.

1. I can't do anything about what you feel if you don't use your words. And I'm not the type to let people take swipes at me.

2. Yes, I"m well aware of that. I deal with people asking me to expend energy everyday to talk about my views on racism. That is not unique to you.

3. Like I said before, I don't react well to people I don't know coming at me with such hostility.

@antifahnen I have no idea how you had the feeling I was 'attacking' you when it was you that instigated a hostile exchange.

It is disingenuous to claim you are being 'attacked' when you engage in a very hostile and quite rude manner.

If you want a better response, don't be hostile to a person that does not know you. Easy.

@antifahnen Then that is where the disconnect is happening.

If it's hard for you not to be hostile to someone you do not know, then that is something you need to work on, which is why I said you need to learn how to talk to people.

Further, no one is invalidating anything. I expressed a thought poorly. I found both your general rudeness and your attempt to force a context on me to justify your rudeness deeply offensive.

You need to work on that if you want positive exchanges.

@Are0h
It's hard for me to know what you mean with saying I'm just clearly a straight prick about it.
That's not the same as not knowing at all how to be nice to strangers.

"Stalking" has a strong history of violence, especially against women. With using it for "casually checking social media" this meaning gets weakened because of the totally different context. That's why I did and still do claim that this use invalidates the meaning and history of that word.
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