Larry RusswurmSummer Solstice 2026 Grab Bag o’ Humour
Recently President Rump had the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool painted blue to hopefully make the water look blue instead of the green colour that has plagued it. But the colour changed to green in short order and now they are blaming algae blooms for the colour change.
But, for those of us who grew up with the sani-flush toilet inserts, we know what happens to blue water after something yellow comes into contact with it. It turns green.
My theory is that all those 3 000+ National Guardsmen President Rump has stationed in Washington, are not given access to enough bathrooms while on duty. So they have to relieve themselves wherever they can and some are likely peeing in the reflecting pool. Making the water green.
*
James Bond was introduced by Q to a beautiful lady mathematician. “But as a mathematician, you can call me 007.” Bond winked at her.
“Alright 7. You’re in an interesting line of work.”
“Yes, I am,” said Bond. “But that’s 007. The double oh part is really important.”
“The double oh means literally nothing. And it can be ignored from now until eternity.”
“The double oh part means that I’m licenced to kill. It’s an important part of how I spy.”
“Whatever you say, 7.”
Q yells, “No!” as Bond reached for his gun. But it was too late.
Bond shot the mathematician in the chest. She fell and lay dead in a pool of blood on the floor. But Bond knew that his government would get him out of this one. That was the whole point of the double oh system.
*
I couldn’t believe the score in Thursday’s Canada vs. Qatar game. 6-0 for our first ever win at a world cup event. That’s more like a hockey score than a soccer score. And David got a hat trick – 3 goals. That’s more a hockey term than a soccer term because hat tricks are so rare in soccer. And the goalie got a shutout.
I can just imagine being a fly on the wall in the dressing room before the game where the coach said something like:
“We can do it guys. It’s just like hockey but instead of using your stick you’re using your leg and foot. Both have long parts that literally turn into the blade or foot, The blade or foot is the business end and with the right touch you can score a goal with it.
“Now go out and outplay those Qataris! Hockey it up if you have to.”
And they did.
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