Tuuli - acrylic on black cardboard (223gsm), 31.4 x 29.7 cm

I'd say there's a difference between being a messy painter, and an undisciplined one. I'm definitely a messy one, and always have been (though I've tried, or pretended, not to be). That's just how my body wants to move when I approach painting and drawing - or any other aesthetic endeavor, for that matter. There's just something about the random, the ugly, and the uncontrollable that excites me. At least to some extent, and nowadays, I think it's to do with my belief that perception, rather than reality itself, is a highly reasonable guiding light, even when realism is the goal. The key, I think, is that perception is meaningful. It takes, however, a huge amount of discipline to trust one's perception, and to let the picture be.

In the case of this painting, my perception of Tuuli was really a focal point of the whole experience. Not just in the way I painted it, but also in terms of how the nature of our friendship affected how I approached it. Because, actually, my memory of Tuuli isn't really like this. Mostly I remember Tuuli sitting in the dark in my tiny studio flat, with their head between their legs. We communicated so much via various aesthetic expressions, primarily music, poetry, and photography. Sounds a bit corny when I say it out loud, but that's the way we were. And in those moments I saw more of Tuuli than when we actually met (which I'd definitely think was the case for them too, with me). And that's what I wanted to paint; not my first-hand experience of them, but how I experienced them through something like a photograph.

#AcrylicPainting #Acrylic #Painting #NonbinaryArtist #VeganArtMaterials

#ImmerZeichnen mit Ölkreide

ich komme näher dahin wie ich zeichnen können möchte

#QueerArtist #NonbinaryArtist #TransArtist #VisualDiary #Skizzenbuch #SketchBook #OilPastels #Ölkreide

#ImmerZeichnen : letzten Samstag auf der prüf Demo
die vierte München und mittlerweile schon in 10 Landeshauptstätten: Berlin, Düsseldorf, Hamburg, Hannover, Mainz,
Magdeburg, München, Saarbrücken, Stuttgart und Potsdam, damit der Bundesrat eine Überprüfung rechtsextremistischer Parteien anstösst.

#OilPastels #Ölkreide #UrbanSketching #UrbanSketchersMunich #USK #USKMunich #Skizzenbuch #SketchBook #QueerArtist #NonbinaryArtist #TransArtist #VisualDiary

Handtücher hinter blätterlosem Flieder
#ImmerZeichnen mit Ölkreide

#UrbanSketching #UrbanSketchersMunich #USK #USKMunich #QueerArtist #NonbinaryArtist #TransArtist #VisualDiary #Skizzenbuch #SketchBook #UrbanSketching #UrbanSketchersMunich #USK #USKMunich #OilPastels #ölkreide

Kneippstelle im Fluss
#ImmerZeichnen mit Ölkreide

#UrbanSketching #UrbanSketchersMunich #USK #USKMunich #Skizzenbuch #SketchBook #OilPastels #Wachskreide #Ölkreide #QueerArtist #NonbinaryArtist #TransArtist #VisualDiary

bei uns im Innenhof
#ImmerZeichnen mit Ölkreide

#UrbanSketching #UrbanSketchersMunich #USK #USKMunich #Skizzenbuch #SketchBook #QueerArtist #NonbinaryArtist #TransArtist #VisualDiary #OilPastels #Wachskreide #Ölkreide

Basement Café #2 - acrylic and wax pastel on paper (300gsm), 40 x 19.5 cm

I really enjoyed painting and drawing this. It's not a portrait per se, yet it was such an intimate experience. I've always felt ambivalent about portraiture, even though I greatly admire many portrait artists. So, just to be very clear, this is not a knock on anyone, it's just how I deal with this. It's mostly the historical roots of portraiture I have a problem with, though that's more of a, let's say, purely ideological issue. A rather more concrete and practical issue for me, has to do with what a portrait is. In my experience, portraits can often have an air of detachment. Like the artist is this great interpreter - either visually, socially, or psychologically - who's able to take what is "out there," and put it on the substrate. I'd argue that that's essentially a white and masculine perspective on doing things. And I refused doing portraits for so long, because of such reasons. But there are, of course, other ways of approaching portraiture.

Even though I resist calling my picture-making "portraiture," it is based on reference photos, "live" interactions, and memories of real people. However, the more important foundation to me, is relationality. And it's about more than just that clichéd claim that all portraits are self-portraits, I feel. If the people/characters in my pictures don't appear in a way that reflects the relationship I've had with them as real people, I don't consider it a fully solved, or good, picture. The nature of the relationship doesn't really matter to me in this regard, 'cause just being around a certain kind of people, even if you rarely talk, matters. And that's what this picture is all about. So much of what this character represents, is what I miss being around.

#AcrylicPainting #WaxPastelDrawing #Painting #Drawing #NonbinaryArtist #VeganArtMaterials

#ImmerZeichnen
mit Fotoreferenz

#QueerArtist #NonbinaryArtist #TransArtist #Skizzenbuch #SketchBook #OilPastels #Wachskreide #Ölkreide

fürs ganze Bild langsam rüberwischen
Hab die Museen neben der Eisbachwelle gezeichnet, mit den #UrbanSketchersMunich aber ohne Stempelchen weil es mir vor Ende schon kalt wurde.

#UrbanSketching #UrbanSketchersMunich #USK #USKMunich #OilPastels #Wachskreide #Skizzenbuch #SketchBook #ImmerZeichnen #QueerArtist #NonbinaryArtist #TransArtist #VisualDiary