Goddamnit, dude, are we REALLY back to fuckin’ MONSTER BLOOD?

Yet another entry where Evan is yet again “traumatized” by the monster blood but is yet again instigated by someone shitty (in this case his nephew Kermit) and yet again prodded into absolute stupidity by Andy (who at this point is either outing herself as a sociopath or the actual devil), Evan yet again acts like a friggin’ moron and then hijinks ensue.

The ONLY part of this that reverberated with me was the fact that Evan absolutely hated Kermit (good job with the names, Stine) but he has to babysit this little underwear stain because he couldn’t afford a Walkman without the babysitting money.

And, as a kid who had a Walkman, I can tell you that I would have done a LOT of awful things for money to buy one. That and a Game Boy was basically my youth and my Walkman is SOLIDLY why I got so heavy into music.

Though, all truth be told, you could usually find a tape from New Kids on the Block in mine as I was an unabashed fan.

But the rest of this, like monster blood itself, is better forgotten.

Ugh.

Why is Evan such a weakling in body, mind, and spirit?

Why is this book basically Clifford the Big Red Dog with a protagonist whose intelligence is rivaled by said dog?

Why is ANDY so keen on watching her friend’s life get destroyed?

How is Kermit actually good at science?

WHY DOES STINE KEEP GOING BACK TO MONSTER BLOOD?!

#books #bookrecommendation #booktok #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #booksky #readersofpixelfed #read #readinglog #rlstine #monsterblood #goosebumps #goosebumpsbook #rlstinegoosebumps #yahorror #childrenshorror #horrorbook #horror

Okay, for better or for worse, this is where Goosebumps really begins. Sure, this is #3, but this is where we really settle into the GOOSEBUMPS of it all. The dumb jokes, the pulled punches, and the WAY MORE INTERESTING STORIES THAT GET IGNORED.

This one centers around goo and it is dumb, dumb, dumb.

The A story here is a can of monster blood is opened and won't stop growing or making things that ingest it grow. It eats a couple kids and animals while two kids try to figure out how to stop it.⁠
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Sure.⁠
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The B story, though, THAT'S the interesting one. A woman is cursed - legitimately CURSED - and is deaf as a result. The family says she never learned sign language or to read lips because she's quirky and stubborn, but the truth is that the person who cursed her wouldn't let her.⁠
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She went practically her whole life unable to communicate with anyone and it ruined the potential for anything in her life. People think she's nuts and avoid her. And why wouldn't they?⁠
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And the person who cursed her lives in the same house and makes this deaf woman do everything for her like a slave.⁠
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THAT'S a scary story that gets about ten pages total of coverage in the book and that's a bummer because - and I'm going to say this right up front - this book is alright, but the concept of monster blood never... sucked me in.⁠
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I'll see myself out.⁠

Oh! But before I go, I always thought it was super lame that this whole series ends with a lackluster Monster Blood book (spoiler alert). But now that I’m doing these again, I suppose it makes sense since this is where it all really starts.

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