Then, of course, the mechanic who came out saw a middle-aged, middle-class white dude, and so he assumed I had all kinds of Knowledge and Expertise I Do Not Have.

"Well, THERE'S yer problem. Ya got a bad #hickendorffer #solenoidal relay to yer pickle-dipple feed enforcer. Unless ya got a #merble fleegle flange reducer, yer #mingtinglingle ain't gonna spark up yer #Torque twaddler."

Sir, I am a tweedy academic, despite how I look. All I know is "car no go vroom vroom."