We at the NSA are getting tired of you always stealing our thunder. Every time we come up with a new, innovative way to invade people's privacy, you go and top us with some even more #outrageous scheme.
First, it was the whole "waterboarding" thing. We were perfectly content with just #wiretapping phones and #intercepting emails, but no, you had to go and start torturing people.
And don't even get us started on the whole "extraordinary rendition" thing. We were perfectly content with just grabbing people off the streets and sending them to #foreign countries to be tortured, but no, you had to go and start flying them around in private jets and keeping them in secret prisons.

We get it, you guys are the "cool kids" of the intelligence community. But enough is enough. Let us have our #moments in the spotlight too. We've got some great ideas for #surveillance drones that can fly through people's windows and listen in on their conversations. And don't even get us started on our plans for a massive database of every single person's #DNA.
So please, CIA, give us a break. Stop stealing our ideas and let us have some fun too.
Sincerely,
The NSA

