Love watching SUVs swerve into bike lanes to avoid a pothole 6 inches long and 3/4s of an inch deep when the commercials of the same vehicle have it prancing across boulder fields. #imsobig #imsotough

You guys are such whiny little bitches. If I went into $40 billion bucks of debt to buy a dying media company worth maybe $15 billion on its best day, I’d goddamned well expect it to feature my posts first.
#youreAllFired
#imSoTough
#imSoLonely
#pleaseLikeMe
#twitterImplosion