FabaceaeI'm in a writing org, that is very cis hetro. We were all to respond to a written response. of what our gifts are. Here's my fast write to them...
When I was contemplating the gifts i offer I thought about how I am often able to be amidst conflict, and still be able to be grounded and open hearted. I thought about how, yes, this is literally at the center of my job/my business, and it perhaps what allows me be of service in the world, while also providing me with financial resources. This all felt good. When I sat with it further, I felt something deeper, something that connected me to grief. I thought about the people and organizations where I spend most of my time, and I realized that these groups are BIPOC and queer run groups, and we are walking conflicts. We are so used to being in convlict.
Being gender fluid, sexually fluid, and neurodivergent in a cis hetro normative culture literally makes me a walking conflict. And for my siblings who are BIPOC, they have an added layer of that I will never understand. There was something important about naming this, that helped me to understand why certain spaces are safer for me to be in, and why other spaces require so much emotional labor. It was helpful for me to name an elephant in my own room of understanding, how much work it takes to fully be who I am, to be in a body that this culture does not validate, understand, give worth to, wants to turn away from, or, even eradicate. I was talking with some folks about this yesterday- the more real we are with who we truly are, in all the ways, the less safe we are in this culture, and the more labor it requires for us to be in cis hetro normative spaces. We were slow and grounded and open in love, in this naming. It felt powerful to name this with out shame, without blame, without victimization- in any direction. It was important to name these simple truths.