The Baseball Bandwagon

The Toronto Blue Jays amazing run to the world series (and their almost win!), created some odd new baseball supporters. We would like to showcase some of them today.

There are new fans who are fashionistas who might be a bit off on their terminology. “Yes,” said one, “I really am struggling to understand how runs can be good. In fashion a run is a very bad faux pas where you need to bring in brand new stockings.”

“And I’m wondering about runs batted in,” says a second fashionista. “How can one bat one’s eye and cause even one run? Some of these players are causing multiple runs with one bat of the eye! The carnage in stockings is terrible!”

Then the original fashionista jumps back in, “But home runs make sense. They are the best of all the runs. The run happens at home. So one can easily switch the stockings with that horrible run for good stockings. No one is the wiser.”

We even found some medical workers who were new to the game of baseball. We chatted with some personal support workers (PSWs) about baseball.

“Who thinks that runs are good?” asked one. “They cause a stinky mess that needs to be cleaned, Then again, I’ve heard from a doctor myself, they’re usually not that bad for health as long as the patient stays hydrated.”

“As for runs batted in,” continues the first PSW, “I find it disgusting that someone would play with their own runs. It makes a horrible mess. Who do you think will have to clean it up? Me.”

But their friend has a different take on home runs. “Home runs are really better than normal runs. They happen at home so, I , as an in hospital PSW, do not have to clean it up. In fact, home implies that they might even make it to the toilet for this run. Even my in house PSW friends might not mind this one.”

We talked with a producer at a record label. She said “ I can’t understand how a hit isn’t everything. Sometimes it doesn’t even count on the scoreboard. But for me, a hit means future business. It means a small fortune on its own. It can even mean a good career.”

We also talked with someone who wouldn’t give his occupation. He said, “I always wondered about bats in baseball. Everyone talks about them but they are very rare at a baseball game. I’ve heard of a seagull getting hit but never a bat. But they (and baseball) become more important in October. I was not surprised that they were mentioning bats a lot on Hallowe’en when the Jays and Dodgers played. But I was a bit puzzled why they kept up the talk on the November 1st game. I mean, honestly. Hasn’t everyone moved on to Christmas by that date?”

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