Unclear For Whose Benefit Unloved Man Keeps Trimming His Pubic Hair

CHICAGO—As he paused midway through his monthly grooming ritual Monday, sources confirmed it was unclear for whose benefit unloved local man Matthew Harris kept trimming his pubic hair. “Why am I doing this? Who cares?” said the romantically uninvolved 37-year-old, staring down at his partially shorn groin as he…

The Onion