BookMy kitchen back when please?
When I woke up this morning, I prepped for the day.
- Made sure money, cards, meds, and paperwork were all in my day bag.
- Funny tummy and high anxiety this morning. Possibility of over-stimulation later. Better put on a diaper just in case.
- Made sure car club reservation is still active and has the possibility of time-extension in case drama happens.
- Made sure to use relaxation techniques before leaving.
I left to go to therapy. A thirty-two minute walk through the city to the centre. Sign in and wait. Held open a door for someone in a wheelchair. No words spoken. Perfection.
My therapist is an amazing person who is still in training. Professionalism and empathy are front and centre. We left on a good note. I felt better after. New tools are always welcome.
Outside, I had thirty minutes to kill before my car club reservation. I have to collect curtain rails from IKEA (they delayed delivery for a week sans explanation) and then go shopping for lots of home improvement stuffs. I grabbed a peppermint tea from a coffee van in the park, and relaxed by the cathedral for a while.
A short walk later, and I'm in the rental. A mid-sized van. I message my friend who said they'd help me to tell them I have the van and will arrive shortly. Mal doesn't message back. I drive to their place, park up, and message again. No reply. I tried calling. No answer. I guess I'm going alone today 😔.
I drived to IKEA to pick up my order. They have a weird procedure, but it's not a drama. Soon, everything is in the back of the van. Next stop: Southern Business Park. Reason? The Range (generic homeware and hardware store) and B&Q (primarily a hardware store).
I parked, grabbed my shopping list and bagpack. I went into The Range and hated it. Even with a small cart, there is no room. The place is massive, but it is filled to the brim with crap! I kept bumping into stuff. And the noise... This constant mechanical drone underlining the painfully generic """music""" being piped in on an '80s PA system. My head hurt.
I looked for tools; drill bits, plaster, scraper, etc. Almost half the items were just on the ground or had the prices scraped off. No idea why. I grabbed what I could because it's cheaper than the hardware store, grabbed a bucket of white emulsion, paid and left.
A few minutes in the van to relax, and my friend messaged me. "The phone was on silent. Sorry. Also I have a delivery coming in a couple of hours. We can meet after if you like." I sent an affirm in reply, grabbed my bag again, and left for B&Q.
I tried to find everything I couldn't find in The Range. I got a wallpaper steamer, some silicon and adhesive, as well as an applicator gun, and some screws and rawlplugs.
Paid with the self checkouts. I didn't want any more human interaction today. The """helper""" at the self-service checkouts was omnipresent and very talkative. I don't remember what I said in reply but it must have been okay because I was in the van with everything packed away when I came back to earth. It was too much. I had wet myself. I felt like a failure. Why does anxiety feel like this?
I left to go home when my phone spoke to me: My friend is ready to help! Yay! I mean, everything's done, but whatever. I need a friend right now. I go collect Mal and we go back to my place. Mal lent me a good drill, some workworking stuffs, and gave me a good rug and mirror. Bless 'em.
Back to my place, unload, get cleaned up and changed to feel better, then take Mal home and return to van to its place in the city. All done.
I forgot it was rush hour in the city. There were so many people, and I had to walk through it. Stimming wildly, I walked home. I bet everyone thought I was dangerous or something.
Realising I hadn't eaten anything since this morning, and that was only a banana, I got home quickly.
I took meds, made dinner, ate properly, and sat down to watch a Dutch queer movie. I'm sixty-six minutes into the film, and I don't even know the characters' names. My mind is on vacation.
Fibromyalgia pain returns, and I'm disassociating badly.
Not a bad day when looking from the outside in. Therapy, home improvement shopping trip, a few good walks,...
But everything else? Yeah, that was a lot.
At least I didn't meltdown. Just wet myself.
5/10. Could have been a lot better, but you crossed the finish line with room to spare.
Darren Fower
🤘 The Metal Dog 🤘
Petrichor ᚄᚔᚅᚐᚁᚆᚃᚒᚔᚂ