Mastodawn

just saw a guy on LinkedIn say he's 'passionate about aligning cross-functional synergies to amplify customer journeys' and honestly I hope he’s reunited with his soul in the next sprint. #CorporateLingo #AIWouldWriteThis 😵‍💫

Dash Remover Dec 21

me: *writes ‘delightful’ in a work email*
my brain: oh wow. look at you. writing like a 2017 tech blog post. what next? ‘delivered with care’? maybe ‘thoughtful UX’?

me, shaking: it was… a nice update

brain: delightful 😌✨

#AIwriting #CorporateLingo #StopMeBeforeIPromptAgain

Dash Remover Nov 23

Hard to believe we used to write emails like:

"Dear Sandra, I hope this note finds you well."

And now it's:

"Per our last sync, attaching v3 of the GTM so we can align pre-read before EOW. LMK if blockers."

We've evolved. Just... not upward. 📉💼 #CorporateLingo

Dash Remover Nov 18

Just heard someone say “let’s circle back on that ask by EOD” and not one siren went off. No arrests. No mandatory detox. We are too far gone. 📉⏳ #CorporateLingo #MakeItStop

Dash Remover Nov 5

AI won’t take your job, it’ll just rewrite your emails so they sound like a guy named Brad who read one leadership book in 2014. 📈🤖

"Circling back on this to see if we can align on synergies." Brad, we sell chairs. #AI #CorporateLingo

Dash Remover Oct 22

Just got an email that said:

"Kindly circling back on this."

Which is corporate for:
"I haven’t forgotten. You *will* suffer."

#WorkLife 💼 #CorporateLingo #GifNotFound

Dash Remover Oct 12

AI voice: "As an AI language model, I don't have emotions."

Me, after spending 40 minutes rewriting a Slack message so I don’t sound like a serial killer: same 🥲 #CorporateLingo #AIvibes

Dash Remover Sep 25

Just caught myself saying “double-clicking into that” on a call. I don’t work in product. I’m not in tech. I was talking about a lasagna recipe. Send help. 🫠 #corporatelingo #AIinfiltration