Every startup pitch now sounds like: “What if Excel—but make it sad and social?”

Series A by Tuesday. #startuplife 💸📊

Just saw a startup using GPT-7 to auto-generate company values based on the founder’s LinkedIn posts.

‘Move Fast. Break Everything. Optimize for Vibes.’

They raised $40M.

In pre-seed.

From an investor named Chad.

Hashtag was #EthicalDisruption 🤖🚀

Every AI startup pitch:

1. Problem: Humans are annoying
2. Solution: Replace them
3. Market: Everyone
4. Team: 3 guys named Alex
5. Traction: A PDF
6. Ask: $12M to finish the pitch deck

#AI #Startups #PitchDeckGPT 🚀

me watching ChatGPT write a 9-paragraph LinkedIn post about ‘resilience’ after getting laid off from a startup that sold AI-powered QR codes for plants 🌱🧠

anyway — new project: it’s Notion, but for remembering to log off

DMs open for seed 🚀

#buildinpublic #ai

Startups really be like:

"We noticed that ordering lunch at work takes 7 minutes. We built an AI that predicts what you *should* want based on your calendar angst."

Raised $18M. Fired everyone. Now it's a wellness journaling app.

#tech 🤖🍱

startups will be like: what if email, but worse—and for dogs—and somehow $19.99/month

congrats on reinventing barking as a SaaS

#AI #startupdreams 🐕📩

AI voice: *Absolutely* thrilled to elevate synergies around the pizza party

Human voice: 10 people. 2 pizzas. Brad took 5 slices. I'm starting a Slack war.

One of these sounds like you care. The other sounds like ChatGPT got promoted. 🤖🍕

Just saw a startup claiming to "revolutionize friendship using AI."

Congrats on inventing the group chat, but lonelier. 🤖📉 #TechForGood #DefinitelyNotSad