2/27/2026 - Post-Op 3

In just a few days I was back at the surgeon's office again. Thankfully this was another relatively short appointment. The PA took a look and again seemed surprised at how well I'm healing. It's hard for me to see it, but I am glad to be "winning" at surgery! 😂

I was cleared to go to the next size dilator, and also for some more movement as long as I pay attention to my body.

My first dilation at blue this time around was fucking astounding unpleasant, bordering on tears. I pushed through it with @JMWinters holding me but wow it sure did suck.

The next time we tried, I took a muscle relaxer, ibuprofen and Ativan (and some cannabis) before trying again. I also adjusted my posture with support under my legs and butt. This time it was easier. By this morning I was able to get blue in without too much pain.

#trans #transgender #bottomsurgery #transfem #transition

2/23/2026 - Emergency Surgery Post Op

Mentally, the week between the 16th and 23rd was one of the hardest I've had in awhile. In 48 hours I had gone from being very confident in my recovery to hospitalized, and another 72 hours later I was back at home on bedrest with a catheter and packing in. I felt like I had been kicked back to step 1. Thankfully @JMWinters kept me sane.

At the post op, they removed the catheter and packing again and examined everything. Other than this issue, the PA seemed surprised at how well I am healing.

At that point, she told me to resume dilating on purple (the smallest one) for this week and see how things go, and she would see me back on Friday the 27th.

That first dilation was nearly panic inducing. My girlfriend had to hold me tightly while I did it, but I got through it. The PA also wanted me to douche while sitting rather than standing, and with lukewarm water. This was also anxiety inducing, but I got through it.

#trans #transgender #bottomsurgery #transfem #transition

So what happened? From my operative report:

> Attention was the directed toward the intravaginal lumen, which was examined with a speculum and lighted retractor. A small intravaginal hematoma was evacuated and a small bleeding vessel was noted at the 5 o’clock position of the vaginal lumen. This was oversewed with figure of eight 0-vicryl sutures, and hemostasis was noted. The vaginal canal was copiously irrigated, with vaginal bleeding hemostasis again confirmed. Since the patient's systolic pressure remained high during the surgery with elevated MAPs, this was deemed a good test of hemostasis.

So … *one blood vessel* caused all this drama.

FML.

I was wheeled back to the room where my girlfriend was waiting and spent most of the rest of the day trying desperately to get some sleep.

#trans #transgender #bottomsurgery #transfem #transition

2/16/2026 - Surgery Day II: Electric Boogaloo

You don’t really sleep in a hospital.

It seems counterintuitive because you’re supposed to be resting and recovering, but in reality you’re constantly being woken up for people to take vitals, give meds, and do other things. So I don’t really feel like I woke up that morning so much as woke up when someone told me it was surgery time.

Thankfully, this time my girlfriend could accompany me to basically the door of the operating room. I was wheeled back in my bed, then put on the operating table and quickly put under.

My next memory is waking up in post op and being very, very hoarse. More than either of my other surgeries. And as usual very thirsty.

#trans #transgender #bottomsurgery #transfem #transition

2/15/2026 - The Waiting Game

When I was admitted it was NPO, so no food or drink, in case they needed to do emergency surgery. So I awoke Sunday very, very thirsty and waiting for someone to make a decision. Around noon, they told me what they were planning.

The surgeon wanted to examine me under general anesthesia and, if necessary, fix anything he found. The surgery was scheduled for Monday morning early, around 8am, and was not expected to take more than an hour.

Mercifully, I was then allowed to eat. I can’t say the food was fantastic but I was so hungry and thirsty that I didn’t really care.

#trans #transgender #bottomsurgery #transfem #transition