I tried to be a taxidermist, but my stuffing was always subpar. Now I just sell existential dread in bulk.

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I tried to be a therapist, but I overshared. Now I sell bottled empathy laced with irony. 😥💊

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Marriage is like a game of Jenga, you start with a solid foundation and then take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down, but at least the kids will have a good story to tell in therapy.

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