Suck it up. Don't show.
Don't let anybody know.
Don't admit, even to self.
Don't commit to cleaning that shelf.

I love whom I love.
I miss whom I miss.
I hurt when I hurt.
I bleed when I bleed.

If you don't want me
to bleed on the floor
I don't need you
when I'm whole.

#AmHealing

Sometimes, I sit, looking full on at what hell did to me. And it saddens me to a heartbreaking extend.

This is why I know, that hell didn't win.

-
#AmHealing

The fragile balance between accepting not being okay with not functioning well, and still being grateful for the stuff that works okay.

The tearing on the nerves in this position is underrated.

#AmHealing?

Them:
How are you?

Me:
I'm currently struggeling.

Them:
*crickets until it feels safe to ask again*

Me:
*moving on, and away from such ignorance*

#AmHealing

When you want to close your eyes for 20 minutes and 90 minutes later you wake up to see you have missed 5 alarms, and 3 phone calls...

#AmHealing

Me:
I feel raw, and vulnerable, at the moment, and really need things to be gentle for me.

Life:
Here, take these challenges that will fully trigger you, so you can experience how people actually now are treating you gently.

Need to work on my communication skills.

#AmHealing

Question to whom it may concern:

If you really like, appreciate, and respect me, why playing games and letting me run into your open blade?

If you don't like, appreciate, and respect me, why are you orbiting me, at all?

#AmHealing

Me:
Here's what works, and what doesn't work for me, and here's why.

My family:
Understand. But why doesn't your healing function to my convenience?

Me:
Because this isn't about you.

My family:
Don't snap at me!

Me:
*remembering why I went no contact, before*

-
It's either that or a complete denial of the situation.

I know that this sounds familiar to many.

You're not alone.
You're not wrong.
You're allowed to be you.

#AmHealing

My Family:
But the standards you hold don't allow everybody to enter / be in your life.

Me:
Exactly

#AmHealing