#30DaysOfAutismAcceptance #LastDay

Pride

Yesterday, in regards to superpowers, I tried to write about how we are forced to think for ourselves, how our lack of social intuition makes us run against walls when trying to be part of society.

How we are forced to analyse, day by day, minute by minute just in order to make it through the day without being found out as an "other".

How is this a superpower?
I'd like to quote this article: https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/new-evidence-ties-hans-asperger-nazi-eugenics-program/

"Hans Asperger described the behavior of children with autism as being in opposition to Nazi Party values. For instance, a typical child interacts with others as an “integrated member of his community,” he wrote, but one with autism follows his own interests “without considering restrictions or prescriptions imposed from outside.”"

I'm not saying it's in our power to save the world.
Autistic Pride however, means to me that I don't need an excuse to be myself. I don't need to apologise to allistics for not fitting in.

I'm also not saying it's only autistic people who have that power, not even that autistics all have this trait. But as somebody whose stepfather wanted to see conforming to his values, those of nationalism, white supremacy and normativity, somebody who survived this and other attempts at brainwash from various institutions of society, I honestly don't give a damn how small scale this is or how vain it might be considered.

I'm proud to stand with a community that is willing and capable of showing society where they err. Disagree and question this all you want. This is how I feel about it. No matter how long it takes to empower us, including myself, or what it may mean whenever I'm ready - hell, even if I never get there, this feeling won't go away. It never left me in the past, no matter how alone I felt in this. Even if I won't figure out what I can do, how I can contribute, I'll be right here thinking about this, trying to support the idea of unified survival and resistance in ways that I can.
Yeah, it isn't much. But it's me. Among you.

Seems I fell into preaching again...

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic

Last Day - 30 - Autistic Pride

Autistic pride means that I don't have to continue wondering what's wrong with me, or break myself over "fixing" my neurotype, and can in fact join and build a community of people doing the same.

Autistic pride is knowing that neurodiversity exists and that people will create a space where the response to it is not violence and eugenics, and indeed start reaching for the alienated of us in need of protection.

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic

Day 29 Autistic Superpowers

This is a fun one. Being autistic makes me really good at being able to understand people and be non-judgmental, and helps me navigate conflict more easily.

By that I mean: social conventions largely hold no meaning to me and I neither get nor care about what social constructs are supposed to inform us about the meaning of behaviours and certain types of people.

#30DaysOfAutismAcceptance #Day28

Struggles

I struggle with existence at its core basic level.

I won't go into detail.
It's too personal.

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic

Day 28 Struggles

Honestly? I struggle the most with sociality and the necessity for masking and social skills in order to do *anything* in the allistic world.

I struggle with uncompensated, unarticulated requirements for them, too. In jobs but also in general interpersonal interactions and maintaining relationships.

I'm frequently resentful about it, too. Feeling like most of my interactions harm no one else but me, or at least no one else as much

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic

Day 27 Meta-Autistic

I didn't put too much energy into this one yesterday because I feel like I've stated it a few times this month, but...

When I first found out I was autistic (as in, not considering that I *might* be but that I *was*), I was super relieved, confident, and happy with it.

I carry that same feeling now.

No one put the words autism on me to make me feel bad about my neurotype. I came to it myself.

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic

Day 26 Learning from the Community

I have learned so much from the autistic community! A lot about myself, a lot of ways to accomodate myself and seek accommodations, and from the masto autistic community... how to be a positive, supportive community, tbh.

My partner taught me how to back out of things that get overwhelming and that it's okay to seek what makes you feel better (like laying in dark closets).

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic

Day 25 Self-Acceptance

The process of self-acceptance was very slow for me. I've had too much exposure to gatekeepers, too many instances of being condemned as "deeply disturbed."

All identities have felt like things that must be granted to me, since they come with community membership.

I mean... to me, my existence just is, and the only reason it must have identifiers and conditions is because I must justify myself to external entities.

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic

Day 24 Routines

I need routines but also start feeling stressed & depressed when the routine doesn't change slightly, or when it changes or deviates too much. I don't really know what that's about.

Waking up is already variable, but after I wake up I need to do all my grooming, including stuff that's not every-day (like shaving, trimming nails, etc.).

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic

Day 23 Stim Toys

So far, I really like stim-rings. I love the ones that have a moving piece you can spin around. I also have a stim-bracelet with round beads you can spin, too. My partner bought me a different kind of stim ring, too (lots of metal rings put together like an infinity scarf).

But I want to try more. I used to suck on my necklaces when I was younger and want to see if the stim-necklaces made for that would benefit me again.