#30DaysofAutismAcceptance #actuallyautistic
Day 28 Struggles
Honestly? I struggle the most with sociality and the necessity for masking and social skills in order to do *anything* in the allistic world.
I struggle with uncompensated, unarticulated requirements for them, too. In jobs but also in general interpersonal interactions and maintaining relationships.
I'm frequently resentful about it, too. Feeling like most of my interactions harm no one else but me, or at least no one else as much
I can even tell someone they're socially inaccessible for me and other autistics, and they'll use their inaccessible communication habits to insinuate that's not true.
Like... I don't know what to do except limit my interactions in general. Even that still hurts me the most, because I have a deep need for interaction and attention.
When we're talking about employment, though, I have no options. I have tried to tell people I was being socially harmed on the job.
Never has this resulted in anything other than people telling me I'm too sensitive and need to build tougher skin, or that I'm completely misunderstanding and misinterpreting the situation, etc. etc.
It's always me. It's always a "problem" with my feelings.
Fuck that.
In fact, one job I kept reporting this to supervisors and management, who did nothing about it until another manager cornered me in the office, and I had a meltdown.
Then I got written up for being the one "making" the work environment hostile.
This is my reality. I have to mask, play the game, AND play my own opposition FOR the allistic people who won't adjust themselves an inch.
Seriously, everyone. This is some serious bullshit. I don't even know how to start helping others plan for that change, too.
Feels bleak. Everyone needs to clean up their fucking act and approach people in a better way from start to finish.
Validate emotional experiences. Stop treating emotional responses as worthy of distrust and contempt.
loptr-punk ✩