if we put babies in a centrifuge we would learn something new and interesting

hi i'm bobby

being an adult is stupid bc you genuinely be thinking things like "i can't wait to get home so i can pee"

i don't hate coffee but coffeeheads make the worst coffee ever. can i have something other than Chernobyl Bleeding Ulcer Power Shit 5000

i went to my car to cry about something but it automatically connected to my phone when i put the key in and started playing the last song i was listening to and it was fucking gangnam style 😭