Reds aren’t on FanDuel anymore but thankfully we still get the Rally House jingle and Jim Tressel telling us to wear a seatbelt

It’s getting to be that season again: giving myself quinine poisoning through espresso tonics

Could God herself (me) close a travel mug so tightly that She (me) could not open it?

@ Mike DeWine

Starting a Crew hooligan firm called YobsOhio

Going to invent a new medicated shampoo and call it Miracle on Lice

Feeling so loved (Valentine’s greeting from the guy who handled my mortgage refinance a decade ago)

Born to watch women’s hockey eight hours a day, forced to be on Teams meetings instead

Free cat name suggestion: Zach Purrenski

Making “Jim from The Office” face as someone carries on a very personal phone call right outside my cubicle