I'm proud that I took a risk I haven't been able to take in literally years.
I'm angry that I did so despite already basically knowing the answer, making the risk unnecessary and stupid.
I'm absolutely terrified that I've given my negative thoughts, recently mostly quieted, an opening to turn up the volume. Like that last sentence.

And I'm grateful for Xanax, to blunt the edges of my thoughts before I go too far down the spiral again.

Been mostly lurking for a while, and should probably do the #introductions toot-thing.

Cishet WM (he/him). Jack of many trades. My dayjob is in eBook and library tech, and I'm a self-taught dev learning more and looking to get back into it, especially in game design.

I enjoy good food, wine, and hookah. My spare time is given over to video/board/tabletop games and reading (mostly epic fantasy, with a penchant for genre deconstructions).

I found my way to a.w.e. as an old friend of @mykola