Mastodawn

Thank you to all the buildings around me for coordinating your leaf blowers and lawn equipment so everyone gets their own day of the week and I am annoyed literally all day every day that is a fantastic thing you've managed to do. Leaf blowers six days a week? Yeah that's fucking fun HEY what about Sundays come on what's one more day between friends let's NEVER not have leaf blowers going I'M NOT LOSING MY MIND FAST ENOUGH YOU COWARD FUCKS USELESSLY BLOW EVEN MORE LEAVES

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 15

you can follow me even though I am not a prophet

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 15

every typo I make is intentional, I am flawless I am a dog among men

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 15

I love movies like Blade (1998) that are somehow at once both timeless and completely of their time

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 15

Ah, IMDb, the destination where people from all over the world gather around the fire of cinema to collectively rate everything in existence a 7.5

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 15

aric Oct 15

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 14

It's cool windows, just force an update on me that borks my computer. I so love I had to take my entire computer apart to fix some bullshit you caused that been a lot of fun, thank you.

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 14

Kicking my neighbor in the gut until he gives me his house and calling it a peace treaty

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 14

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 13

America is the greatest country in the world. At what, you ask? You're under arrest

Tyler, from the Internet Oct 14

Fun Kelly Oct 14

them: “so tell me about yourself”

me: [removes chopsticks from my mouth that were making me look like a walrus] well…