The balance is enough to feel it, but not enough that it shows

How does one say getting married was their worst mistake ever, but their kids from that mistake were the best thing ever and what keeps them going and in that marriage?

It’s no wonder we elected a narcissistic cult leader back in 2016. The majority of the country believes in a cult (aka “religion”) anyway.

Hello gummy, my old friend. So good to feel your effects again.

A 24oz beer should be handed out at the end of every work day.

Talk! Talk! Talk! She shouts at the game. WTF do you want them to talk about?

You know what’s close to the best? Being buzzed on a beautiful sunny Friday evening!

I just want to live out the rest of my life drunk on the beach