She has a boyfriend... sort of... its so strange to talk to him, it so strange to see them together. I need to be happy for her, but Im just a selfish dick

This strange winter is almost over. It felt so fast but so painfully slow at the same time

This is the longest and the most exhausting spring I ever had. And the march is still yet to come

What if the trap has already closed behind my back? What if the dies of my demise has already been cast? What if the point of no return is already behind my back and I just did not realized it yet?

If only she knew how is she hurting me with every wrong look or word. Or even with the lack of those.

What a wrorable asshole I am. I dare feeling untrusted and constrained even though I totally deserve it and give all the reasons for it.

Today was special, just not as special as I expected. The expectations are always so much sweeter than the event itself.
No, nothing happened between us today, but I gave in to a temptation of being myself next to her

... on the other hand, what value could I bring to her? I'm the most mediocre person alive

Is it my last day here? Will I ever see her again?