I’ll take Valve’s bloatware compared to anyone else’s

Damn right!

Until they get in bed with Facebook.

Absolute worst possible move!

And push some new AI girlfriend on me.

Woah woah woah, let’s not be hasty now, let em cook, that could be good.

Me in Forza Horizon

Don’t mind me, just going to become Wiccan so I can send someone an orgasm…

I’m pretty sure they already unmasked Banksy

Oh you know it, sexy bluetooth speaker

Honestly! I haven’t thought about them for a while now. I think I’m gonna go on a CowChop binge starting with “the accident” and working backwards.

I imagined MeatCanyon doing the voices

I don’t think they meant THAT kind of “ride”.

If you start to paint it black, you might be The Rolling Stones

Yeah, I agreed with this. We could be missing context from OP, but it sounds like OP is accommodating their partner to the best of their ability, but OP isn’t getting the same in return. Their partner could potentially look into seeing a specialist if possible (ya know, unless America, lack luster healthcare and all, yeehaw) and get help with adapting their sleeping to allow for all parties to be better off.