this account is now a football account for the next 3 hours while the 49ers get whipped, sorry to all my baseball people

I'm about to take my senior portrait but I can already conform this lazily taken selfie is gonna look better

I'm hot, and I feel like shit. Does that make me hot shit?

I wrote a really trash thinkpiece about my ideology and may have made the stupid decision to put it on Facebook for all my non-leftist friends to see.

I wish I got more favs, but I guess I'm always on here at inopprotoot times

I just had the longest burp of my life. Approaching 10 seconds. I feel a solid 20 pounds lighter

The giants scored more runs in two batters than they did in two games against the Mets and Gregor Blanco made sure to dab just to rub it in.

I've been kinda keeping up with the complete fiasco going on with trump right now, and about 30 seconds after not saying the word "fuck" on live TV, Jim Acosta proceeds to say the r-word without hesitation. Like, I know way more people who'd be offended by the latter than the former. This is bullshit.

i currently have a 102 in my economics class, so whoever said socialists didn't know how anything works get fucked

if i could go back in time with one thing i would take a usb with every single tweet dril has ever made back to 2009 and live my life as an internet celebrity