The other day, I was thinking about the current state of my polycule, and how that's changed over the years, and wanted to compose something regarding what I've been trying to process.

To say it concisely, polyamory is not about making everyone feel equal, it's about making them feel unique. I try to emphasize to each of my partners that they are their own independent relationship with me. There's no "better" one than the others, and it took me a long time to fully understand that.

A part of that I think stems from monogamy. Often, we're told to treat our significant other as "higher than" others in our life, there's an inherent hierarchy that gets created where we prioritize one person over others. It's one of the things I had to unlearn, but also one I think everyone would benefit from unlearning, polyamorous, relationship anarchist, or not.

polyamory is just a patch over monogamy

consider instead: relationship anarchy!
- relationships tied loose from typical expectations—just set your own!
- piss off the right people just as much if not more
- fuck normativity
- don't know if something is wanted/expected? you can Just Talk About It
- want to stick with traditional terminology? try something unusual? literally just make something up? can do!