OH NO, MY MERINGUE!
| No | Yes |
Shane 
@shanecyr
- 103 Followers
- 88 Following
- 2.8K Posts
Look, I just wanted to talk to your dog on the phone.
OH NO, MY PIZOOKIE!
Any time my wife buys a new beauty product I ask her “is this one finally gonna do it” and this is why she accuses me of making jokes like my parents and also why I eventually will be completely alone
I don’t know what exactly sets them apart but I really find Apollo Sunshine very charming, as reps of some kind of rock subgenre I generally have no interest in
Coworker just got a new work computer and insisted the tech guy leave the old one with them for now, because "I have like a million open tabs!"
The implication being, of course, that they are going to methodically work through those open tabs and go open them on the new computer.
Where they will in turn make very good and important use of them.
Folks, close your tabs. If you actually need something you're never gonna find it anyway. I can't count the times I've watched someone try and fail.
I just rather loudly used every known part of speech formed from “fuck” multiple times in the course of cursing and denying consideration for future redemption every official and unofficial member of the administration, a solid half of American voters, the dickhead down the street who owns a Cybertruck, and anyone involved in helping Mitch McConnell to his feet today
Have one thing in your life that you love as much as McEnroe loved screaming at umpires
I bet when they were debating whether or not to include the “cattle ranch” joke in the latest Severance, they almost didn’t do it because it kinda steps over the line of raising too many questions about what innies do and don’t understand about the world, but then Zach Cherry was like “Yeaaaaah, but it’ll make my buddy Shane laugh, I say we do it” and they were like yeah ok because he’s a cool dude
I worry that when my doctor asked me what my favorite food was, saying “BURRITOS” uncomfortably loudly and breathlessly before she even finished the question may have raised alarms