For the last time, "friends with benefits" does not mean I can add you to my insurance coverage, Cathy
| My Toots: | https://justmytoots.com/@samtrap84@beige.party |
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Joke teller, mental health experiencer and advocate. Dad. Ninja. Nerd. Pan. Husband to @RozannaBanana.
Alice McFlurry 
Whenever I get worried that I’ll never write another good post, I conjure up something about cats and dogs pooping into each other’s butt holes and I’m like “yeeeaah, still got it!”
My kink is trying to eat potato chips without the other person in my bed noticing.
Are you there God? It’s me Marjorie Taylor Greene
Oh no
I will never apologize for drinking LaCroix
My wife just woke up, eyes still closed, grabbed her vape, hit it and then turned over and passed back out.
That’s dedication.
Three hours. 16 minutes and 54 seconds later I have built our new bed frame. ‘Scuse the mess but this was a chore doing it by myself lol. King size stuff is heavy and I’m instructions illiterate.
New strategy on here: Just straight up follow everyone even if they don’t follow me back I don’t care this isn’t Twitter and I am not here for a popularity contest. I’m here to scream into the void.
For the love of all that is sacred and holy in this world someone please delete my Amazon app before I’m further struck by lightning deals. Six $70 mixing bowls for $32.99 with air-tight lids, more spatulas than I have use for, AND GRATING ATTACHMENTS HELP ME BABY JESUS
I MIX THINGS TWICE A YEAR