The State does not get to decide who is a woman.

The State does not get to erase non-binary people further into obscurity.

The State does not get to dictate my sexuality or that of my wife.

The State can fuck off and stick in its lane.

I will continue to be a raging trans queer who has a stunning trans lesbian wife and everyone else can get on board or get fucked, and not in a fun way.

So my very estranged mother ambushed me recently with a letter in a birthday card, wanting to "get to know me" again after years of not talking.

I was tempted to tell her to gtfo but @therivercrow gave me good advice around coming out fully to her so that she doesn't hold any power over me anymore. So I did.

Cue me writing a very heartfelt letter back and then waiting. I sent flowers at one point because she passed a significant age milestone which still freaks me out. I have an elderly estranged parent now.

She thanked me for the flowers but didn't mention the letter. I asked. She hadn't checked her mail for 2 weeks. More silence. I push again. She said she got the letter but for didn't tell me. Another message to say she's reflecting.

Another two weeks pass and I've had enough so I essentially tell her to either do me the respect of a reply or to tell me if she can't.

She accuses me of turning our conversation into a negotiation. How could it be anything but? She then misgenders me and tells me to discuss this calmly. I am very calm. I stop the conversation.

I then hop onto a random social media platform where the algorithm serves me up someone's videos about emptying their loved ones home and that feels like the universe absolutely mocking me.

Life with a problematic parent really does suck energy and time.