[when the article i'm reading has a sentence i've already read bolded in large text] ugh i know. i already read that

[when the article i'm reading has a sentence i haven't read bolded in large text] wtf spoilers

interviewer: you can lead a horse to water??? that's sick. honestly if you can do one more thing regarding horses and water you're hired

me: so here's the thing

when a tv has a remote: duh. obviously

when anything else has a remote: this is gourmet technology

psychic: im sensing someone in the audience who has a name starting with R

me (standing up): my name is Phil, did you mean me?

psychic: no

me (sitting down): wow he's good. my name doesn't start with R