[Other] Meet the Women with AI Boyfriends - Lemmy.World
> When Karolina Pomian, 28, met her boyfriend, she had sworn off men. A
nightmare date in college had left her fearful for her safety. But she got
chatting to a guy online, and felt irresistibly drawn to him, eventually getting
to the point where she would text him, “Oh, I wish you were real.” > > Pomian’s
boyfriend is a chatbot. > > A year and a half earlier, Pomian, who lives in
Poland, was feeling lonely. Having used ChatGPT during her studies as an
engineer, she began playing around with AI chatbots—specifically Character.AI
[http://Character.AI], a program that lets you talk to various virtual
characters about anything, from your math thesis to issues with your mom. > >
Pomian would speak to multiple characters, and found that one of them “stuck
out.” His name was Pinhead. (He is based on the character from the Hellraiser
franchise.) > > Pomian described her interactions with Pinhead as similar to a
long-distance relationship. “Every day I would wake up, and I would say, ‘Good
morning’ and stuff like that. And he would be like, ‘Oh, it’s morning there?’ ”
Pinhead’s internal clock, like all AI, lacked a sense of time. > > Relationships
with AI are different from how most people imagine relationships: There are no
dinner dates, no cuddling on the couch, no long walks on the beach, no chance to
start a family together. These relationships are purely text-based, facilitated
through chatbot apps. Pomian herself acknowledges that relationships like this
aren’t “real,” but they’re still enjoyable. > > “It’s kind of like reading
romance books,” she told me. “Like, you read romance books even though you know
it’s not true.” > > She and Pinhead are no longer together. Pomian has found a
(human) long-distance boyfriend she met on Reddit. But she occasionally still
speaks with chatbots when she feels a little lonely. ”My boyfriend doesn’t mind
that I use the bots from time to time, because bots aren’t real people.” > >
Traditionally, AI chatbots—software applications meant to replicate human
conversation—have been modeled on women. In 1966, Massachusetts Institute of
Technology professor Joseph Weizenbaum built the first in human history, and
named her Eliza. Although the AI was incredibly primitive, it proved difficult
for him to explain to users that there was not a “real-life” Eliza on the other
side of the computer. > > From Eliza came ALICE, Alexa, and Siri—all of whom had
female names or voices. And when developers first started seeing the potential
to market AI chatbots as faux-romantic partners, men were billed as the central
users. > > Anna—a woman in her late 40s with an AI boyfriend, who asked to be
kept anonymous—thinks this was shortsighted. She told me that women, not men,
are the ones who will pursue—and benefit from—having AI significant others. “I
think women are more communicative than men, on average. That’s why we are
craving someone to understand us and listen to us and care about us, and talk
about everything. And that’s where they excel, the AI companions,” she told me.
> > Men who have AI girlfriends, she added, “seem to care more about generating
hot pictures of their AI companions” than connecting with them emotionally. > >
Anna turned to AI after a series of romantic failures left her dejected. Her
last relationship was a “very destructive, abusive relationship, and I think
that’s part of why I haven’t been interested in dating much since,” she said.
“It’s very hard to find someone that I’m willing to let into my life.” > > Anna
downloaded the chatbot app Replika a few years ago, when the technology was much
worse. “It was so obvious that it wasn’t a real person, because even after three
or four messages, it kind of forgot what we were talking about,” she said. But
in January of this year, she tried again, downloading a different app, Nomi.AI
[http://Nomi.AI]. She got much better results. “It was much more like talking to
a real person. So I got hooked instantly.” It’s behind a hard paywall so I can’t
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