The federated timeline should just be renamed the hentai timeline

I am young dumb and full of existential dread

Oh dang one follower off the sex number. This is what my therapist meant by setting life goals

In the year 2030 "likes" and "faves" will become the only form of currency. I am building my wealth empire early

Downloading movies from the pirate bay, not to watch them, just for the thrill

Much like the notorious B.I.G I am ready to die

People who try to tell me pickles are cucumbers. Take your conspiracy theories elsewhere

Setting up social media for all my pets, but it is a ruse, my pets have no interest in boosts or faves. It was me all along

Having to explain to grown ass adults why using "Jew" as an insult is terrible. Give me strength please

Boss: you're fired
Me: you can't fire me, what about BOFA?
Boss: these "jokes" are the exact reason you're being fired-
Me: BOTH OF THESE NUTZ hahahaha