I won’t bore you with repetition so I’ll just link.

I think we mostly agree, doing the stuff you want to do in life should not be stifled by your gender. But in the OP and in this thread I get the feeling that “a man likes to feel like a man” automatically carries with it the implication that others should accommodate (by for example dumbing themselves down in order not to damage fragile masculinity as you said). I don’t see that implication at all. Is there some cultural context I’m missing here? Is this something you would say in a context where fragile masculinity is in danger of being harmed?

My point is we’ll never know if these people were actually abusive. I’m not saying murder is never morally justified, but simply assuming the murderer is in the right because they said so is certifiably nuts.

Ah yes, vigilantism from the perspective of the murderer. ‘But he was an asshole!’ says the person who murdered them. Let’s all take the story at face value and applaud the lack of due process and human rights. After all, they were scum (according to the murderer).

That’s a good question. I think most of the traits described here also apply to women, but as always, we’re talking about overlapping Bell curves here. I think men derive their sense of self worth from things like strength, leadership and independence more so than women do on average. There’s also traditionally feminine traits men derive self worth from, like empathy, affection and devotion. The same is probably true for women; little of column A, little of column B.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, this is just how genders shake out on average, so the implication that a man shouldn’t like feeling like one kind of bothers me.

I’m not imagining any context, I am taking the statement at face value. I am a man, and I like to behave in a way that makes me feel like it. Like mentioned elsewhere in this thread, that means feeling useful, it means being relied upon by others, it means honouring the responsibilities I have towards others.

No it doesn’t. It shows a woman imaging things that weren’t said.

I need to feel like a man

Sure I agree with that, but how is that implied by ‘a man likes to feel like a man’?

What’s wrong with wanting to feel like a man? There’s nothing inherently negative about that. I like providing for my wife and I want nothing in return. I like doing typical man stuff with my friends. Why does that make you feel like I’m trying to be superior to anyone? I am comfortable in my masculinity and so should anyone who wants to be, stop treating that as toxic.

Why would those girls set him up to fail? Flip the bet; date if you score.