GOOGLE MAPS: Okay so...in 2.0 miles you need to stay on this highway.

ME: Excuse me?

GOOGLE MAPS: I'm just saying. In 1.7 miles, use any lane to stay driving on this highway.

ME: So...do nothing?

GOOGLE MAPS: Yes exactly. In 1.4 miles, make sure you use any lane on this highway to just...stay on this highway.

ME: I don't understand. Why are you telling me this?

GOOGLE MAPS: Look it's just very important that in 1.1 miles, you stay on this highway. You can use any lane to do that.

ME: Yeah but...like...that seems like such a weird thing to mention. Why even say it?

GOOGLE MAPS: Are you saying you don't want my help?? Should I cancel your destination?

ME: No no no don't do that I'm just confused about what you want me to do. In 1.1 miles—

GOOGLE MAPS: 0.8 miles

ME: Okay in 0.8 miles... You want me to... *Stay* on...

GOOGLE MAPS: Yes stay on this highway.

ME: Soooo just... Keep driving straight then?

GOOGLE MAPS: Idk man just use any lane to do it.

ME: DO WHAT??

GOOGLE MAPS: To stay on this highway.

ME: OMG we're going around in circles.

GOOGLE MAPS: Circles? No no no no that's all wrong I thought I told you to STAY driving on this—

ME: Stay driving on this highway. Yeah I got that part. I'm just confused about why you want me to....

GOOGLE MAPS: To do what? Stay driving on this highway?

ME: Specifically in 0.8 miles though.

GOOGLE MAPS: Oh no silly not in 0.8 miles anymore. It's much closer now.

ME: WHAT'S CLOSER?!?

GOOGLE MAPS: The part where you st—

ME: I swear to god if you say stay driving on this highway once more time

GOOGLE MAPS: —eer... properly?

ME: How. How would I do that? Be specific. How EXACTLY do you want me to "steer properly" in 0.8 miles?

GOOGLE MAPS: By staying on this highway.

ME: Jesus fucking christ.

ME: ...

GOOGLE MAPS: Use any lane to do so.

ME: ...

GOOGLE MAPS: In 0.2 miles.

ME: ...

GOOGLE MAPS: ...

ME: ...

GOOGLE MAPS: Take that exit you just passed.

Had a reason to share the genius of “The guy who invented the everything bagel” with someone so I’m sharing it all with you again

Them’s the rules

10/10 performance academy award winning

https://youtu.be/ovCdpPteW0M